best of craigslist > st george > Wanted: time machine DESPARATE!!!
Originally Posted: 2009-01-12 5:53pm

Wanted: time machine DESPARATE!!!

Desperately need a time machine to take me back 6 weeks in time, plus or minus a day. If you have a time machine and are willing to let me borrow it, or know of someone with an impending trip back in time, please let me know ASAP!

I will pay big bucks to have myself warned to NOT sleep with that tramp at the One and Only Bar on the Boulevard.

Tell me that she is very, VERY fertile that night in question, and has a whopping 3 STDs that I will get if I copulate with her.

VERY VERY IMPORTANT THAT I GET THIS MESSAGE!!!

I WILL WRITE YOU A BLANK CHECK IF THAT'S WHAT IT TAKES!

Key things that will let the me in the past know you are for real:

*Tell me that you know about the rubber ducky incident

*Tell me that you know that I pissed in my friends pool last week, when he was in it.

*Tell me that no matter how hard I try, the lesbian at Barnes and Noble will NEVER go for it, no matter how many sex books I ask her opinions on.

If I still doubt you- use this one-----

*Mention that you know I made out with my cousin when we were drunk at a kegger last summer- NO ONE KNOWS THIS BUT US TWO!!

VERY VERY IMPORTANT THAT I GET THIS MESSAGE!!!



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