Originally Posted: 2005-09-20 5:42pm
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To The Little Pile of Dirty Laundry on the #2 Bus
To the little pile of dirty laundry that rides the #2 bus... Congratulations-- you have officially been named this year's Public Transit Freak Show! You join a rather impressive list of previous winners that includes:
1.) Lady Wrapped in White Towels Complete with a White Towel Turban on the #156 in Chicago: I initially wrote you off as just a garden-variety weirdo, but when you waved at me from across the aisle and asked me to "kindly" put away my walkman because "several members" of your family had been "killed by radio waves," well, let's just say you had me at hello.
2.) Mole Woman from the Millbrae BART train: your silver dollar sized black mole on your cheek and the tuft 3 inch black wiry hairs sprouting out of it had me transfixed for the entire ride. Oh to be a fly on the wall of your bathroom when you primp in front of the mirror every morning...
3.) Asian Lady on the "T" With the Full Grown Fu Manchu Mustache: people often talk about the inexplicable urge to stare at a car crash... Baby, a 20-car pileup ain't got nothin' on you.
Yes, Little Pile of Dirty Laundry (shall I call you "Ms." or "Mr."?)... with your 20 layers of dirty clothes and your head wrapped completely in old sweatpants, boxer shorts with frayed elastic, a fuzzy acrylic scarf and a black wool ski mask, your day has finally arrived! As I sat across from you on the bus, I could tell just from the way your little feet were planted firmly on the floor, that somewhere under the trench coat, the old Starter jacket, the tattered green cardigan, the polyester house dress, the nubby gray pullover, the plaid flannel shirt, the Glad trash bags, the tube socks, the corduroys (oh you get the picture) beat the heart of a true champion! Your originality, your resourcefulness and your devil-may-care attitude are to be commended. Take a bow... you've earned it.