I have a sealed 17 oz box of "FORTY INDIVIDUAL FLAVORS" Jelly Belly jelly beans. This box is at least a year old, so it may be stale. (Hah! As if that's even possible -- what, with the power of modern candy preservatives.)
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On the one hand, I'm horrified at the idea of releasing this item of no nutritional value out into the world to inflict damage and decay upon the digestive systems (teeth included) of willingly indulgent participants. I won't even consider giving it to anyone I know.
On the other hand, this has to be good for something. Even for eating (well, you'd have to convince me of that). Maybe better for not eating (you'd have to convince me you / others won't eat it, and that there are far more productive uses for these beans which you will execute).
Convince me that you NEED this.
... and it's yours.
(Or, convince me that you'll be a good custodian for this sealed box until you reach the breaking point and need to pass it on for the good of both your sanity and the world -- I don't want the responsibility anymore.)
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