Originally Posted: 2005-05-20 11:37am

Spare New York Please, Nasty Terrorists!

Dear Terrorists,

We realize you are all pretty ticked off right now. Whoa boy! the prison thing, the koran, bush! wow, im sure youre like a pressure cooker with its vent covered in chewing gum.

Some of you suggest you should kill americans, and destroy new york. Please reconsider. New York is a beautiful city full of important institutions, museums, universities, libraries, art galleries. There are so many famous buildings such as the empire state building and grand central station its crazy! The lights are brighter on broadway they say. And on broadway anything goes!

So before you blow up this fantastic city may we suggest you take out a less important city such as nashville or lexington or indianapolis? Just think if you budgeted 10 million dollars to destroy new york, how much further your money would be spent bombing omaho, des moines, dallas and charlotte? Why you could blow up stockton and modesto too!

Please, please! dont bomb new york! they voted for Kerry who is no bush! they got ripped a new asshole in 2001 and still didnt buy bush' story. So you have to spare them, theyre crazy, nutty liberals who would rather have a wine and cheese symposium at the Met discussing the miseries of American capitalism on the third world then picking up a gun and jetting off to blow up Mohammeds grave.

So do your research, find out where the republicans live, find out where the gun owners live, see where a lot of white/uptight rich white males live, overturn every stone and find where the bible thumpers and flag wavers are. Do us a favor and rid us of these people too! Please! The evangelicals have stolen our fun Jesus and replaced him with Evil Jesus! Please help!

If you have to rip the us another asshole please take out a red city or county or state. Feel free to take out the whole fly over midwest and south. We really only need california and the northeast to be a functioning republic.

Please, please spare New York. We Californians need somewhere to go to on vacation. And what would we do without David Letterman?


post id: 74436895

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