Originally Posted: 2005-05-19 7:45pm

Dear boyfriend... can we talk?

I know, I know. The time to comment on these things was when I first noticed them, and that was a long time ago. But there's only so long I can stew over stuff like this without mentioning it.

1. Your looks. I'd like to think I'm not shallow, but, well, let's just say that physical attraction is important to maintain that spark in our relationship. I hope you understand; I mean, if looking at you doesn't make me melt, then where are we? And the truth is, you're utterly gorgeous. You've got the pretty blue eyes and the twinkly smile, and the scruffy beard and big conch piercings are just damned hot. So... looks like you nailed that one.

2. The sex. Listen, buster, there are two things that need to happen for it to be good for me. One is turning me on, and the other is getting me off. Now, if you think back over the sex we've had lately, you'll notice that my favorite turn-on is also your favorite way to get off, and my favorite way to get off is one of your favorite turn-ons as well. Christ, that's fun. Can we do it again right now?

3. The hugs. Women need physical affection. I, as a kind of wacko woman, need lots of physical affection. Yes, yes, the cats are very sweet, but what I really need is to get that kind of loving contact from you. You know the kind I'm talking about? Like the great big bear hugs I get from you every day when you get home from work. You give the best damn hugs I've ever had. They're addictive. I had to take out my nipple piercings because they kept getting hug-squished, but it was totally worth it. That's how good the hugs are.

4. Food. I can't eat the same things you do. You're mostly vegetarian; I'm vegan. You like spicy food; I can't stand it. It would be great if you were accomodating, like maybe if we cooperated to make vegan dinners that I could eat as-is and you could top with cheese and hot sauce. Couldn't you maybe look through my cookbooks once in a while to get ideas about meals we can both have? Apparently so, since that's exactly what you do. And you made me pasta with soy-cream sauce and delicious balsamic veggies the other night when I was tired and cranky and didn't feel like cooking, which was so sweet of you that I could just kiss you. In fact, I think I will.

5. The house. A home doesn't maintain itself, you know. You need to pitch in sometimes... like, for instance, mowing and raking the lawn while I pulled out weeds in the front yard last weekend, and doing the laundry and dishes at least as often as I do, and vacuuming the rugs way more often than I do. Thanks.

6. Being silly. We don't always have to be so damned serious when we're together. I want my boyfriend to be someone who makes me laugh and shares my sense of humor. For instance, if we were getting ready to leave the house one morning and I casually said to you, "Lapplander Zog?" and you happily replied, "sapsucker frog!", to which I responded with a teasing, "Suuuusan?" and we both giggled and agreed that yes, four yaks and a dog. That would be fantastic. And if you were the one who introduced me to the Tick and that joke, that would be even better. Sweet.

7. Those three words. I've had it up to here with guys who either don't believe in love or won't admit to it. And you? You said it even before I did. I woke up from a dream that you'd told me you loved me, and I barely had time to remember the dream and get embarrassed about it before you told me you loved me. That was three years ago in August (or maybe July). Three years with you is wonderful. Thirty would be better. I love you.

Love, your ecstatically happy girlfriend. I wonder if you'll see this?

post id: 74331652

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