Originally Posted: 2005-05-06 10:31am
For sale: Boyfriend
Up for sale one gently used but still in good condition boyfriend (1980 model, all parts in good working order).
No need to buy batteries! Boyfriend recharges by attaching his hands to the keyboard of your computer where he will spend at least 6 hours a day, 10 hrs on weekends playing video games. Decharging is easy and is required daily for boyfriend to stay in good working condition. Simply remove your panties let him plug himself in, and after 2 minutes he will be fully decharged and will promptly fall asleep.
Purchaser must be:
* Financially stable -Not only to make purchaase, but because boyfriend works menial job and you will have to pay the rent, his bills, and mantenence fees
* Have high pain tollerance - boyfriend is a visual creature and you will be expected to wear high stilettos at all times, when going out, when cooking his meals, when doing his laundry, even when jogging (jogging is a must as you need to be so thin as to be almost invisible when you turn sideways, other than, of course, your double D boobs).
*Have tattood on make up - to avoid owner confusion you, like TV actresses, must look perfectly made up and beautiful when you wake up in the morning, when working out, and even during a shower. Otherwise boyfriend may get confused and may end up in the bed of someone else.
*Have patience - while boyfriend is house-trained he occasionally feels the need to pee outside to mark territory (even when not drinking)
Warning: Improper following of any of these instructions can cause heart problems (most commonly breaking) in the owner
Reason for selling: Want to upgrade to a better model