Originally Posted: 2005-05-02 1:58pm
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HAIL TO THE TRANNY WORKING AT JACK IN THE BOX...take my first born!!
Before I start building a altar to this transgender woman, let me first say the following:
1. If I were straight (thank bejeezus I am not...sorry breeders, just the truth), I would give this woman my first born baby (although I can try to get pregnant, I cannot...and i've come to terms with that).
2. If i were to take a bullet for anybody, i would be her human shield.
3. From this point forward, i fully endorse cloning so that i can have multiple clones of her.
I am not one to complain about having a shitty day as i am sure there are some people out there whose shitty days are far worse than mine, like the homeless woman who just pissed her pants...yeah.
when i feel as though the entire world is against me, i make my pilgrimage (on hands and knees) to Jack in the Box to basque in the presence of the all mighty herself.....the tranny. Her cup overfloweth with warmth and kindness and i feel my inner child again....subsequently after i eat an ultimate cheesburger with curly fries. but that is besides the point.
granted, i love the bay area for its multicultural aspect. what i fucking hate the most about it is that i cannot fucking understand one fucking thing said over the telephone or through a speaker when trying to talk to an indian or mexican who recently immigrated. I am not a bigot or a racist person, but at the end the the goddam day, i just want to drive up to Jack in the Crack and order my meal with as few words as possible, pay, and stuff it down my gullet. This proves to be one the worst part of my day. I'd rather have a pidgeon shit on my face than have to order at Jack in the Box without the tranny workingm, and i'll explain why.
So here is the order of events upon ordering without the tranny being there. I will have to use the workers words spelled phonetically so you understand what i am dealing with:
Him: wecom to hack in da box, can i take your odor?
Me: (i usually ignore their welcome msg b/c i don't care to hear it) can i get a #6 plain, medium sized, with a lemonade to drink? And that is it.
Me: (trying to be as clear as possible) #6, plain, medium size, lemonade to drink. that is it.
Him: what to drink?
Me: leeeeeeemonaadeeee!!! ARRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHH!!!
Me: (since i know a bit of spanish) jugo de limon!
Him: oh i see, lemonade.
Me: *shot gun blast to the head
Him: so you want #5?
Me: numero seis!!!!
Him: oh, si si. $5.72.
Me: *i am giving him the best death eyes i can muster. i want him dead!!! I'd like the nutsack of a homeless man to get my order right.
So i go through this same fucking process each damn time. i am barely hanging on by a thread some days and to have to deal with this bastard because he skipped some ESL classes....i can't take it!!. Now i am sure that he skipped them because he is barely making enough money to support himself, but he should see his classes as a fucking investment that would help him get out of the shit hole that is Jack in the Box.
Side note: while writing this, i have been taking breaks watching two squirrels fuck. they fucking mock me!!! yet i still watch. back to writting....
one day i pulled in, i see the speaker that i order into, and being conditioned to the stress response, my blood pressure builds and my eyes dialate and i tense up so tight that you couldn't even stick you pinky in my asshole. i begin to order making sure that ennunciate every single letter and leave nothing to chance. then, as if jesus himself shown his light upon me, the voice of an angel came out from the speaker asking me if i wanted anything else with my order. i nearly shit myself, and my nipples went ragging hard at the thought of not having to go inside and make the fucking hamburger myself.
So i drive up to the window and the tranny has her hair up in a clip, nice smooth makeup, and a wonderful smile on her face. she is also mexican...and thank god for her ability to speak english without a thick ass accent that i cannot understand her. she is amazing. brilliant. she has my order ready to hand to me and my drink with a straw in hand. and did i say that she does all of this with a smile.....BLESS THE HEAVENS FOR HER.
I think i cried a tear of joy when upon my first bite. even if i had the worst fucking day, i know that she can make it all better. if i see that she is not working when i drive up i immediately leave because i know that they will have some moron working in her place. i would rather starve than try and order when she is not working.
ALL HAIL TO THE TRANNY WORKING AT JACK IN THE BOX.