Missed Connection Worksheet
We locked [eyes/nose rings/tongues/fenders] [this morning/last night/every frigging day this week/November 24, 1982] on the [280 Freeway/Coit Tower stairs/N Judah/escaped Ringling Brothers circus elephant]. You: [pretty/hairy/tall/sunburnt/indecently pierced] [asian/illegal alien/stockbroker/homeless person with weeping facial wounds]. Me: [short/morbidly obese/obviously aroused/unspeakably scary] [garden gnome/leper/crack addict/corporate shil]. You were wearing [vintage Dior/Hefty Bag/Spongebob Squarepants costume/oven mittens]. I was [in pajamas/draped in ermine/freshly waxed/nude]. I wanted to [share my medication/say hello/give you my number/lick your nipples] but was too [drunk/dizzy/incontinent/mentally deficient] to do anything. If you [see this/care/are still alive/are in need of a tongue bath] please [respond/light a small trash fire in Dolores Park/flick your high-beams/submit your resume]. Then we can [take it from there/screw like lice-ridden monkeys/have a garage sale/meet for a drink at the Redwood Room]. Looking [forward to hearing from you/for another meal ticket/to violate my restraining order/hot].