Originally Posted: 2005-03-21 8:09pm

Flute Lady, Do you ever think of me?

First, Flute Lady, I want to thank you for making me a hero and legend in my neighborhood. I often wonder if you think about me, and if you miss your flute. By the way, have you since learned how to actually play the flute?? I still have your old flute and admire it often. I still think about you -- were you going through a tough time those three weeks you blew your, now my, flute with all your might outside my window at all hours? Although I knew you were crazy in some way, it appeared as if your craziness was a recent development as your clothes and hair were still clean. Perhaps that ear-piercing pitch and the way you slid your fingers quickly up and down the shaft of the flute as if you knew how to play it soothed away the voices in your head? We could hear you coming from blocks away, blowing so hard that only a brain-splitting whistle came out of your flute. "Here comes the flute lady", my roommate or I would say. Did you know we were watching you from our 2nd floor window as you blew your flute loudly into the faces of the patrons smoking outside the bar below every night? It seemed like you were trying to communicate with them through the flute – is that true? Remember that one night, the night you parted with your beloved flute, when some chick yelled, "Stop blowing your FUCKING flute!!” from the window above? That was me - I never had a chance to tell you since everything happened so quickly later that night. You probably didn't know that you had been keeping me awake for the past three weeks and that I had been late to work because of you, and how would you know since you don't work and always were awake to blow your flute morning, noon, and night. You probably didn't know, either, how much you really upset me when you responded to my request by looking up to my window and blowing that flute as loud and as you could right at me. I was pacing back and forth in my apartment in my pajamas in the dark for almost 30 minutes after you did that to me. Do you know I was actually going to dump a pitcher of water on your head -- but you were too smart for that, weren't you Flute Lady? By the time I got to the window with it, you were standing - and blowing - safely under the awning of the bar. Although you never could have thought it possible in your wildest dreams, I'm sure you understand now why I did what I did next. I was no longer in control - and I was sooo tired. People do weird things when they've been deprived of sleep for so long. I wonder, though, did you hear me running up the street after you as you walked away from my house still blowing? I was running really fast in those pajamas...I startled you so much that when you turned around with that look of horror, the only thing you could think to do was blow your flute one more time. But that was your downfall - you left the ends of the flute exposed so I could grab on to each end and twist (oldest trick in the book!). I could tell you really loved that flute, because you put up a good fight. It took a couple twists on my part, but you were no match for my flute-wrestling skills. I was really surprised that it was wooden, but it made sense that it was so wet and slimey from all of the tooting and blowing over the past weeks. I wanted to break it over my knee right in front of your face – that had been my plan all along as I ran out of my door and down the street after you – that I was going to grab the flute and either break it over my knee, or throw it really far while you looked on in agony. But I thought better of it once it was actually in my hands – I mean, that sure would’ve ruined the effect had I grabbed it and tried to break it over my knee and not have been able to break it – right? So I kept it for all my friends to see, and thanks to you, I’m a hero!

post id: 64868230

email to friend

best of [?]