Book of Richard
1:1: And lo, it came to pass in days long ago, before the prophet Richard came to the lands of Saint Francis, that he was called upon to water the bushes far across the sea of asphalt, lest they become burning bushes and tell the lord's people to put their sons to death.
1:2 And the prophet Richard obtained a most extended garden hose and performed his appointed task humbly and with solemn joy.
1:3 As the years progressed, the prophet Richard set out across the land until he found a new home.
1:4 After more years progressed, the prophet Richard again set out across the land until he again found a new home, finding himself in the City of Richmond, across the waters from the District of Richmond.
1:5 and the prophet Richard spake: "Lo, this hose which once served me so well hath become a source of pain immediately to the rear of my nether regions, for the very length of which it was once much praised hath become a storage issue!"
1:6 The prophet Richard obtained a much shorter hose.
1:7 And yet the longer hose remained in the house of Richard for many months.
1:8 And the prophet Richard spake "Let me away unto the List of the prophet Craig, for surely he will have means to contact someone who can relieve me of this burdensome water carrier!"
1:9 and it came to pass.
1:10 And in the fullness of time, the hose was taken up unto Oakland.
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