Originally Posted: 2008-03-12 12:26pm

Firewood - good well seasoned and lots of it

OK this is long but only because of all the nonsense I went through posting this ad last week and dealing with people that want me to deliver and stack it for them – for free. Or want to spend an hour on the phone with me, or provide them a map, or help load or or or…

Look it’s simple. I have tons – literally tons – of good firewood to get rid of. It has been aged through three winters and is peak for burning now. It is all Eucalyptus. The rounds range in length from roughly sixteen inches to roughly twenty-four inches. The rounds range in diameter to what one person can handle to very large needing two or even three men to handle.

You need a log splitter! Don’t call to tell me you don’t have a splitter and will be right over! They rent these things here in Novato – it’s no big deal. You also need a wheelbarrow or be ready to walk back and forth a lot because you can’t park any closer to the wood than maybe seventy feet. So it is much easier if you have a wheelbarrow.

You can access the wood anytime without appointment – really. I don’t need to know you are on the way, or that first you have to buy your kids some pizza. I don’t need to know anything. It’s free wood get it? I’m giving it away – not looking for a relationship. If you don’t want to do some work for the free wood that’s perfectly fine with me – just go read some other ad. I don’t mind – really.

And the only thing I ask is that you don’t make a mess of the area. That’s what I am trying to do is clean it up. So take as much as you like, and leave things in good shape. Last night I watched somebody haul away easily five hundred bucks worth of wood in less than an hour – and I have twenty times that amount left. So it really can be done.

The only other thing you need is location, which I will provide if you contact me. I don’t want to meet your mother! And I don’t respond to earthlink addresses with that stupid spam quiz. Everything in this ad is all you need to know.

I hope your cancer goes into remission and the orphans forgive you.

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