Originally Posted: 2008-02-15 12:34am

favorite this post You: "There's a boy!"; Me: "Thank you"; 19th and Valencia. - m4w

Hiya. We just had that exchange (in the posting title) about thirty minutes ago. I was the guy with the short brown hair and beard wearing a Navy peacoat (how do you spell that?), and you were the girl who was trying to console her friend (I suspect) over the fact that all men had been seduced and yanked off the streets by the horror that is "Single Person's Awareness Day" (a.k.a. "Valentine's Something-or-Other"). I'd just like to say: HOLY BUCKETS ARE YOU CUTE. Like cute enough that thirty minutes later I'm posting here when I could be doing laundry, or making ravioli, or watching one of the many fine syndicated programs available nowadays. But, no, I'm posting for you.

BUT WAIT. I am not a stalker (well, there's that ONE restraining order, but I'm so OVER that), creep, perv (well, not much, and in ways that are legal in most of the States in the Union), loon, drowning lonely soul, ex-felon or actuarial accountant. Allow me to provide a brief transcript of our meeting:
(Hey, that Restraining Order thing was a joke. No, really)

YOU: (pointing into that Mediterranean Place at 19th and Valencia): There's a boy!

YOUR FRIEND: [inaudible - I can't hear for shit - let's assume it was Scripture, y'know, for giggles.]

YOU: (pointing at ME): THERE'S A BOY! (emphasis added by me, because this is my post, that's why).

ME: Thank you!

You: SEE YOU ON MISSED CONNECTIONS. (emphasis added by me because - goddamn - if there was a better invitation for this than that, it would have to be - like - surreptitiously tatooing something on the back of my hand or on my forehead or something.)

OH HO! Do you see my point? You literally called me out on this. So I reiterate: HOLY BUCKETS ARE YOU EVER CUTE. And I think (Q.E.D., see above) that I am not actually being creepy in posting this. So, if I'm not too ancient, or too much like someone who - uh, walks home at night - because that's approximately all you know about me, throw me a "hello". Also, if you're either engaged or married, if you don't think I could take your significant other in a fight, spare us both the headache (newsflash - I can't take him in a fight, not even if he's in an iron lung).

p.s. Your pic gets several dozen coupons for approx. $.50 off of each bottle of Dasani OR Arrowhead Bottled Water (I have pics of myself, but, you know, the material can often be more enticing than the aesthetic).

p.p.s. That last post-script was a complete lie, I don't think I've saved a single coupon for anything, and I apologize, but cruel children from my elementary school and indifferent parents left me with a feeling I have to overcompensate. Please forgive me.

p.p.p.s.: Just so you know, my name is Scott. I just pathologically need to get that out of the way, because otherwise I might set myself on fire. No, seriously, that is such a hurdle for me.

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