Originally Posted: 2004-08-07 12:57am
timeline of a CL m4m post
timeline of a craigslist M4M post:
11:00 you're horny, for whatever reason you look on craigslist
11:02 find a couple of recent postings for people that sound like just what you're looking for
11:05 finish sending standard boiler-plate email to the top few ads (using your yahoo or gay.com account, not your work or home account)
11:07 check your email. nothing.
11:09 still nothing. you remember that more than half of the time you don't get a reply at all sooo...
11:10 go peruse the listings again, this time not being so picky
11:14 more emails sent
11:15 hit reload on the m4m page to see if a new "batch" has been posted
11:16 hit reload again. nothing. think to yourself, "god, why are these listings only updated every 10 minutes! ugh!"
11:18 go back and check your inbox. hmm.... still nothing. maybe my email is broken again...
11:19 "fine... i'll place my own ad!" you say. "nice looking 20/30/40 something guy seeks similar for nostrings hookup"
11:21 CL auto-email arrives (guess the email server is working after all). confirm your posting.
11:22 go back to CL listings and hit reload. no, yours isn't there yet idiot!, fuck, that's right, it takes like 20 minutes for it to show up!!
11:23 launch gay.com chat client even tho you swore you'd never use it again after last time
11:25 janky gay.com client crashes your mac. fuck. right. gotta use that gayboi.org thing...
11:27 enter castro m4m room. exact same people here as 3 months ago when you last logged in. you wonder if they're tina freaks waiting for the 19th BB load up their ass today, or if they just logged in 3 months ago and forgot to log out... then you realize that you don't care.
11:28 get popup from 18-year old frat boy with 9" dick and webcam, "click here!!". yeah right. eat my block button pornbot!
11:31 the only two halfway decent people logged in who you haven't already fucked are not answering because they probably never sign out. ugh.
11:33 you've got an email! hmm... despite the "your pic gets mine" line in his ad, and despite the fact that you *did* include a *real* pic of yourself in your email to him, his reply contains no pic. oh... and he wants a naked pic of you before he sends you any of him... yeah, right. not even gonna bother telling him off. delete!
11:34 reload CL m4m hoping your ad has appeared. it hasn't.
11:35 send out a couple more half-hearted CL reply emails... hearing the "your standards are getting too low alarm" going off in your head
11:36 another pornbot wants to talk to you on gay.com. block.
11:37 the 55 year old from 3 weeks ago who sent you the 20-year-old pic of himself and then wondered why you wouldn't let him in your house when he showed up is on gay.com wondering if you've had a change of heart. you haven't
11:38 fire up some porn mpegs
11:40 you've nearly gotten yourself off like 3 times but you're just so damned sick of wanking it that you hold off
11:41 your ad is live!!
11:42 start clicking that 'get new mail' button
11:44 "a message!" -- oh, but it's a reply to one of the emails you sent out earlier... "thanks... already hooked up with someone tonight, loved your pic tho... can i get your AIM or cell # so we can hook up some other time..." hmm. well, you didn't include a pic, so i don't know yet if i really want to do that. debate asking for his pic. nahhh, fuckit. these things never pan out. delete!
11:45 look at that clock. realize that you've thrown away 45 minutes of your life and you're no closer to getting laid than you were when you started
11:46 watch more porn
11:47 "another reply!" he's halfway across town and wants to host. it'll take you 45 minutes on muni to get there... still... he is kinda cute... email him back and see if he'll travel.
11:49 he doesn't want to try and park in your neighborhood, too crazy. you're thinking, "i'm so horny it feels like i'd cross the fucking sahara for cock right now, but neither of us can be bothered to travel 3 miles in a car or taxi to get some above-the-bar booty." fizzle.
11:50 switch back to your mpegs... that hot double-penetration scene in "out of athens" is in full swing...
11:52 unload all over your chest and belly.
11:53 pull off your shirt, use it to mop up
11:54 in bed fast asleep. you can delete the 4 or 5 soon-to-arrive "i know it's late but are you still up and looking" in the morning...