best of craigslist > SF bay area > This Relationship is Over
Originally Posted: 2007-06-08 10:09am

This Relationship is Over

Dear Silver Mercedes C280 in front of me on Oak Street,

I'm sorry, but this relationship simply isn't working for me. Among
other things, relationships are built on trust and mutual understanding,
and frankly I don't see those qualities in you. I respected your
right-of-way when you entered the same lane in front of me on Oak Street
from Masonic, but with that right-of-way comes certain responsibilities.

Surely you've been down this road before, Mercedes. Surely you must
appreciate the synchronized traffic signals that allow us to glide
through town unfettered by the block-by-block stop-and-go of our
freewayless city. Yet still you seem oblivious to the appropriate rate
of speed necessary to keep pace with the synchronization. Do
you not recognize all the other car-on-car relationships around you?
They all seem to understand how this whole thing works. Don't think I
can't see you sipping your latte up there, and is that the New York
Times folded against your steering wheel? I have needs, Mercedes -
needs you seem in no rush to fulfill. So help me, if one of these
lights turns red before we reach it, I'm not forgetting it any time
soon.

Have you any idea how embarrassed and frustrated I am when the other
traffic on our little thoroughfare see how you're holding me back?
I'll tell you right now, I know what lies in my future -Octavia
Boulevard, the Central Skyway and eventually I-80 East to the 4th Street
exit. Frankly, I just don't know that you have what it takes to be in
front of me through that.

So let's be adults about this. I need this lane for the upcoming turn,
so please just quietly change lanes or turn on to a side street, and
let's put this all behind us. Don't make me honk.

Regretfully,
The Silver Volvo XC70 behind you

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