The post is the starting gun. Several riders fail to hear the shot. Many believed the starter to have replaced the blanks with live rounds. A member of the onlooking crowd takes a bullet and survives, but it is unclear in subsequent investigations whether the bullet came from the starter, or from the adjoining R&R rally "re: Why Starf*cks Sucks".

Email replies 3-8 burst off the line, full throttle. All have the same sponsor, "Enjoys the Outdoors, Camping, Hiking, etc." but failed to read carefully the entry rules regarding age and position on upcoming elections. It is noted in the press that many of the same sponsors stickers are seen on all of the cars. Overly represented are: Fun, Easygoing, Likes Good Food, Curl up with Good Book, Candlelight Dinner, Sunsets, Walks on Beach, Sensitive, Likes to Laugh, Travel, Going Out, Staying Home. The announcer wonders why the sponsors keep advertising, given that 98% of the buying public has these products.

Smoke begins to billow from car 2. Although fitted out to look much like the other cars, the engine was actually powered by an automate service for Ukrainian drivers looking to relocate to this circuit.

The first turn. At this point, remaining drivers have received feedback, and more information about the upcoming course. Questions in regards to drivers' other interests, fuel intake, and requests for picture I.D. have been sent out. In looking over the upcoming course, half of the remaining drivers lose interest in the race, and turn off, heading for the parking lot where MC is playing a free concert.

As the race proceeds, drivers learn more and more about the course, the turns, the ruts. The audience gets a sense of the cars. Car 9 takes a pit stop. Coffee. Two other cars follow suit. It is learned that the picture I.D. for Car 13 was actually taken 10 years prior. Although not an automatic disqualification, car 13 had also developed a strange whining noise, the driver stating that a previous course had caused traumatic damage to the chassis and engine. Sponsors for Car 13 had urged the driver to keep this information in the background, instead focusing on their products: Charming Smile and Dresses Nicely. Vaguely unsettled, race officials thank car 13 for entering the race, and escort the driver off the track.

To the audiences amazement, a car, without a number, jumps onto the track and races wildly towards the leaders. Oddly, it sports multiple images of a graphic and purient nature, and seems to be sponsored by "Drive THIS, Lover!" Course officials successfully stop the car, and banish it from the course, but not without the protest of several clearly inebriated members of the audience.

As the race proceeds, many participants, as well as the audience, lose interest. Cars are seen parked in front of the many pubs lining the course. As we reach the 3/4 mark, there are only 2 cars left: #1 and #12. They have both taken 2 pit stops. They are both running dangerously low on fuel, both dangerously exposed to the elements. The turns are sharper, the rain is coming down, and neither one is really sure that the finish line is really where they want to go, given all of the lovely pubs and the condition of the course. On the surface, it seems very nice, a charming stretch of road. But how many times has it been traveled over, and really, what is this macadam laid over?

The flag. The flash photography goes off. No cars cross the line. The race is considered a success, especially by the local tavern owners.

The organizers vow to change some crucial elements. Look for entrants from other areas, perhaps engage in some face-to-face networking. Maybe do some course redesign, although previous attempts were met with resistance.