Hi, I'm Loki. I'm 4 years old, with blue eyes, and in excellent shape. But this isn't really about me. I'm posting for my human, as she thinks this online dating thing is silly and won't do it herself. But I think it could work. Especially if the humans finally realize that we dogs are much better judges of character than they are and let us do the picking and choosing. But anyway, my human needs a date. Don't get me wrong, I love her and all, but now and again a guy just needs the apartment to himself for an evening on the couch watching the hot babes on Animal Planet, you know?
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Her name is Andrea, and I think she's adorable. She has blonde hair and pretty green eyes. She's funny and an excellent cook. She doesn't like it if you eat between meals, but I'll show you how to do "the look". She can't resist "the look". She gives the best back scratches in the world. I take her running with me every day, so she's in good shape. She even has a job. She likes to take me places with her (we went to Alaska a couple months ago to visit her parents), so I bet she'll want to take you places, too. She's kind of shy, though. She reads books (sometimes she reads to me, isn't that cute?), and she blushes every time she talks to human guy. But she loves dogs and cats, that's why I take her to the park with me. She always has to stop and pet the dogs. I can't tell you how many chicks I've met that way.
So, do you have a shy male human that you want to get out of the house more often? He should be smart. Andrea's smart. She knows how to fetch and she never pees on the floor. Your human should also be nice. The last guy Andrea brought home with her was a total loser. He was kind of mean to her and he told her that she had to get rid of me. That's when she kicked him to the curb. Damn straight. So, your human has to be nice to Andrea, because if he isn't, I'll bite him.
Here's what I propose: let's get our humans out of the house together. Maybe if they like each other, they'll get out of the house together more often and we can have our respective couches to ourselves every weekend. How's that sound?
If you're a fine female of the species, you can come over and share my couch. Andrea had me snipped, so it's totally safe.
P.S. Here are some pics of Andrea, and that last one is me.
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