Go away, evil leaf blower man
Every Wednesday morning, you unleash your giant Conair mere steps away from my livingroom window. It bellows an eardrum-smashing shrill that reverberates throughout every square foot of my 2-room box.
This week, I watched you……YOU with your headphones, goggles, and a steel expression that is unbroken. You become absorbed in your task…pretending not to notice the innocent passerby who attempts to escape the blast of your fiery air. You strangely lose all sensitivity to the well being of those around you, becoming almost non-human....becoming one with your machine.
I see how you hide your flesh under dark, baggy overalls...blowing leaves to and fro...getting nowhere in the scheme of things. Those leaves will return or settle in the yard of another who will be left to endure your wrath. And you know the game, leaf blower man. Someone will hire you or another of your kind to blow their leaves...but on a different day. Perhaps a Tuesday, a Thursday, or perhaps even a Monday. And our neighborhood will be taken over and subjected to your torturous squeal…and torn away from us will be the peace and tranquility of our suburban mornings.
Stop the madness, leaf blower man. Please….destroy your evil machine and get a broom, damn you. Damn you! DAMN YOU LEAF BLOWER MAN!!!!