Fuck Tall men (6+)....I'm tired of being jealous of those 6'8 guys at IKEA with their 5'2 girlfriends. I'm gonna give shorties another try. Sure I'm 5'10 and even taller in heels, but what the hell, I'm sure you won't mind being eye level with my chest. If I'm lucky, you're a midget that loves to play hide and seek under my skirt while in public places.

Fuck cute, dorky guys.....I can get into the whole "ugly, sexy man" thing. I'll just close my eyes and pretend you're sooo fuckin' hot that if I DO look at you, I will pass out or turn to stone. Hopefully you will have some experience in this area and have developed some fun, exciting, role-playing games in the bedroom that require blindfolds, lampshades,brown bags, crazy glueing my eyelids shut, etc. because simply turning off the lights is too easy.

Fuck guys who have no hair...It seems that this look is trendy among current couples (shaved/bald head look) and who can blame us girls. Women in general are taken by shiny things, like your head glittering in the sun. I suppose I'll just have to learn how to love a pony tailed man who also possesses the desire to clean my house. However, it just won't be the same. On the bright side, we can braid each other's hair and it would be like dating a girl...with a dick. BONUS!

Fuck guys with "decent" jobs....That's overrated.I've always wanted to know the ins and outs of living day to day in the eyes of pimps, drugdealers and petty thieves. Talk about a guy with an exciting outlook on life. Don't worry, when you get caught (hey I watch COPS, I know what's going down),I'll visit you in Prison. I'm sure that we'll be so much in love that when you get out in 2 or 3 years, you'll want to make me your number one biatch or ho and propose marriage. Let's face it,I ain't getting any younger, OooooKaaaay? (snap and twist my neck)

Fuck Nice guys.... It's time I got with the program and just accept that all guys are macho, cheating, assholes. It's ok that you slept with my sister, best friend, and mother, I'll still wait for you to come home so I can hear your loving words, "Make me dinner, woman!".I know now that the reason you always come home is because I take care of my man. Hey, you can have your cake and eat it too and guess who's gonna bake it for you? That's right, me. I know the way to a man's heart is through his stomach. We can even go on Jerry Springer so I can prove my love to you with a good old-fashioned catfight. JERRY! JERRY! JERRY!

Fuck guys my age.....I'll take on a 18 year old virgin and show him the ropes or a 52 year old divorcee for that matter. I can finally go to the prom and not be afraid to make out in front of the principal. Or I can trot around town on the arm of someone old enough to be my daddy or granddaddy and pretend I'm 28 year old Lolita. Either way, I'm sure I'll make all his guys friends jealous and that will boost my self-esteem. And we can all use a little boost in the department, can't we?

Fuck guys with average bodies..... From now on only fit, athletic men whom work out consistantly (24/7) and think everything is a competition. I want your muscles to be sooo big that you cannot wipe your own ass (Hey that's sexy, right?) I'm sure that the bigger and more fit the bod, the bigger your man muscle and endurance in bed. Steroids aren't so bad.

Fuck smart guys......We don't need to talk about foriegn policy, corporate farming, travel and culture. We can just flop in front of the tube and waste away watching reality shows and get the bejesus scared out of us nightly by watching FOX news (Those pesky terrorists). You can show me how to crush empty beer cans on my forehead so I can impress your friends at superbowl Sunday parties. Hey, Who needs to read a book when you introduce me to Playboy and Maxim for the "articles". Not me!

Fuck single guys.... What I need is a married man to discreetly meet me in parking lots and the local hot tub. I love being sneaky and not being able to be with you in public or introduce you to my friends. It's so exciting, it's like being a secret agent sex spy! And to think all this time, I've been missing out. I'll try my best not to get jealous and possesive and boil your kid's bunny rabbit.

Fuck guys with a sense of humor......Um... nope...Can't part with that standard. You'll definitely need it when you meet me.