Rant: Selling musical gear on Craigslist
1. 'Local pickup only' means you come over to my place, not vice versa. Also, it doesn't mean 'pickup in the parking lot of a shopping center in San Leandro.' This is not a hostage exchange.
2. In a like vein, 'local pickup only' doesn't mean I'm going to drive over and give you a ride to my place and then give you *and* the 50-pound guitar amp you just bought from me a ride back to your place. It means you have to get yourself to my place, get your new squawk toy out of my life forever, and then go away (nothing personal, but you know what I mean). If you don't have a car, then you'd better borrow cousin Dwayne's El Camino, there, champ, or I'll sell the item in question to the extremely hung over person who called five minutes ago, if he shows up, that is.
3. 'Cash only' doesn't mean 'dime bag.' If I wanted you to pay me in weed, I would have written 'weed only' in the ad, there, Beavis.
4. Likewise, 'cash only' does not mean a personal check. I don't take checks from musicians, no way, nohow. Why? Because I'm a musician and I know full well what walking financial disasters we can become at any moment.
4. No, you can't take the '79 Les Paul today and come by with the cash tomorrow. Hmm, let's see... 'Double Your IQ or No Money Back'? Okay, sounds like a good deal!
5. No, you can't take the '79 Les Paul today and come back with *the rest of* the cash tomorrow, either.
6. It's 2006. Why the f--- don't you have a cellphone?
7. Peppering me with emails demanding everything in the ad for half the price I've advertised it for might be validating for you, but for me, it's just annoying. We will not be haggling over a ten-year-old fuzzbox - either buy it or don't. Oh, and I'm not giving you a ride (see above).
8. Since used gear is sold under the tacit assumption of 'as is, no warranty,' no, I'm not going to sign a document *handwritten by you* swearing that the ten-year-old fuzzbox you just bought from me for thirty bucks (see above) won't blow up, melt, or fall apart in the next two years, you windbag.
9. When you call for directions to my place, you can rattle off a detailed list of all the errands you're going to run before you come over if you want to, but dude, I have to tell you that I'm not writing any of this down.
10. No, you can't have something to eat!
- no -- it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests