Originally Posted: 2006-07-09 4:46pm

Buckets buckets buckets

We have been trying to be good citizens - watering our tree that borders an Outer Sunset avenue - but it hasn't been easy being so conscientious. We are now on our 4th bucket. We have been burgled of three previous buckets --- Why? Because someone likes buckets, that's why. Someone likes black buckets and white buckets and orange (yes, Home Depot) buckets. Someone likes them with our address written on them, too. And someone especially likes the fact that each bucket that has been taken has tiny holes drilled in the bottom of it so that a street tree may have its fill of water over a period of time without fear of being flooded. Perhaps the holes in the bottom of each of the pilfered buckets were an unwelcomed part of the bucket-heisting equation - we can only hope - nonetheless, these bucket-loving thieves are surely fond of hard plastic.

We will, of course, venture to put one more bucket out, and the hooligans will probably regard such as an open invitation, as in the past, to rip us off. But BEWARE! This bucket will be rigged with nanotechnology-based light and alarm sensors so meticulously hidden, the culprit will be caught in the act as if in broad daylight (assuming he or she uses the cover of darkness to do a dirty deed, not unlike those other water (gate) politicos from the past) and our tree, and others like our tree, will be saved the ghastly demise of vegetation found in other parts of our fair City -- that greenery which is forced to grow under the trajectory of wayward spittle, be they lucky enough to catch a loogie........i.e.: It's a god-damned bucket, people. Leave it be.

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