Originally Posted: 2003-07-12 11:48pm

Whole Foods employee can't stand customers anymore

Look, I'm getting out, ok? I've been working here too damn long, but let me point out a couple of things:

1) Food is for SALE at Whole Foods. On the days when there aren't samples out exactly when you get out of yoga for you to feed yourself and your toddlers and your au pair for free, you can still purchase some of what you sampled yesterday. Judging by what you drive, you can afford it. Don't look at us with that indignant and entitled look (the same one you flashed at Paradise when no one let you back in the lane) like we're depriving you of your hard-earned free food.

2) Everyone, I mean EVERYONE, and their toddler and their au pair and the mountain biker who didn't wash his hands when he came out of the bathroom, "only touched the one (sample they) took." It's amazing what fine motors skills all those loose, thumb-sucking 2 year olds have.

3) You ask: Why don't you have local organic apples in spring? Think about it, dingbat, and come back when you've communed with nature a little longer.

4) You opine: If it's from Europe it must be better, because they don't use ______ in Europe (you pick: hormones, antibiotics, pesticides, GMO's, child labor...)No, they just have Chernobyl, Mad Cow, and some of the worst acid rain on the planet.

5) You goad: How can you work here? Doesn't Whole Foods bust unions? So don't shop here. Go bug Safeway for organic caperberries.

6) You agonize: Should I get the Omega-3,6 complex from fish oil or the Flax Borage Super Ultra EFA? 40 minutes is a bit excessive to deliberate over that, don't you think? Considering how much leisure time you have, your heart attack risk should be pretty low.

7) News Flash: All those nice people who work in the Whole Body (nutrition) department are NOT DOCTORS. The things they sell in that department are NOT MEDICATIONS. Echinacea is not going to help you if you eat crap and don't sleep. Having ongoing, localized headaches? Oh sure, the 23 year old with the lip ring is the first person I'd go to. If you are someone who bought the broccoli pills, please call me. I have some wetlands outside of Tucson that might interest you.

post id: 13490369

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