Originally Posted: 2003-03-21 8:33am

Would you like to be lucky #13?

Hello friends, former friends and future friends...

My name is Betty. I would like to take the moment to say that I have not a drinking problem, nor a sexual problem, but...a love problem. That's right. I just wish I could fall in love and keep it that way. Just as the commercials of the 50s stated, I want to be black and white and hopelessly in love with the Next-Door-Neighbor or the mailman, as long as it's promised to be forever.

My first husband Ralph was a sleaze, but I really thought he was God's answer to the love craze of the 60s. Eventually, in a year's length of time, I would acquire for him over 500 prostitutes and best-friends for his Long John's approval. Considering my dad had connections at the time, I would rent for him exotic castles around Europe, and hip thriving homesteads in the U.S. We would have Orgies of an old era, thousands of years in the past mixed with thousands of pounds of multi-colored flesh.

Then, one of my girlfriends, after fucking him for three months straight, got him to elope with her during a really good trip one time. They had Elvis on top of elephants flying out of helicopters all around Vegas and everything, all thanks to my checkbook...

Since that time I've married around twelve more men, all furnished with stories as pathetic and wonderful as this one I've laid before you.

What am I looking for now? I've had romance [all 12 husbands], S&M [#4, 7, 10] truck drivers, [#3], James Bond sorts [#5], Disco Stu's [#8], Computer Multi-Millionaries [#11, 12], Bookstore Owners {#9], Abortions [all 12], Treks around Europe [all 12], Mountain Climbers [#6] and so much more.

I can honestly say I've fulfilled all I want to out of life in terms of love, spirituality, sin, and adventure. You will not serve as true love to end all love either, considering I am afraid of the number 13.

I turned 49 a few weeks ago, but don't feel a day over 20.

post id: 9624487

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