Originally Posted: 2005-08-30 11:21am
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To the crack ho in my neighborhood
My partner and I have seen and heard you peddling your ass/mouth/pussy/whatever for a rock or two before. I've actually heard the phrase "it'll cost you" from your mouth more than once. I was walking home from the dentist today, and I made the mistake of not watching where I was going. I have Tetris on my cell phone, and addiction is an ugly thing. Well...you know that already, don't you? See, if I had seen you coming, I would've crossed the street. So, distracted my the pretty colors on my phone, and excited that I FINALLY got the puzzle piece I wanted, I was not prepared for the sound of your voice. "Hey, you holding?" Let me get something straight. I may live in this neighborhood, but I don't necessarily know the street lingo. If it wasn't mentioned in a 50 Cent song I was FORCED to listen to on the boom-boom-boom radio cruising down the street, I don't know it. I listen to country music, for god's sake! I answered you; you must've heard the terror in my voice "holding what?" Then it happened. I must've amused you. You opened your mouth to laugh, and I smelled the stank/rank/skank breath as it was unleashed upon me. What was that, three day old jizz? Granted, I'm a butch dyke, so it's been a LONG time since I gave a blowjob, but I distinctly remember brushing my teeth afterward. Then you touched me on my arm. Don't do that again. EVER. You told me how funny you thought that was. No ma'am, there is NOTHING funny about that entire situation. I'm going to wash my arm with soap and chlorox, and I may take antibiotics just in case. Not funny at all.