What the hell is going on? No new Best Of since July 11th? Do you have any idea what this is doing to me?

*It's been 4 weeks since I have snorted orange juice out of my nose, onto my monitor and keyboard. I am starting to miss the burn.

*I haven't dragged a bible-thumping coworker over to my desk to mortify them with copious amounts of cursing and sex-gone-wrong in 29 days. I am starting to look like the good girl of the office. This is not acceptable.

*For almost a month, I have had no stories to horrify my mother with. When I make her read Best Of, she claps a hand over her mouth in offense and disbelief and then starts giggling like a Special Olympian. Since she doesn't often have a lot to smile about, this is especially good. Hear that? CRAIG...you make my mother giddy!

Please, Craig. Hear my plea. *Please* update Best Of. Like NOW. Do it for my sinuses, the die-hard Baptist and most importantly, my poor ungiggly mother. I beg of you...