best of craigslist > seattle > all the things I should have said this week
Originally Posted: 2005-08-05 7:41pm

all the things I should have said this week

To the metro driver who blew right by me on Lake City Way on Monday afternoon, SCREW YOU! You made me late. Again! At least it wasn't raining this time. Please at least pretend like you care that someone is waiting! Grrrr.

To the cute guy on the #2 to downtown on Tuesday(?) morning who liked my dog, I wish I had said something. You had a really nice smile, and looked like you were reading something interesting. You at least thought my dog was cute, maybe I had a shot? Either way, too late now. Maybe I'll run into you again and actually say more than three words.

To the group of sailors who rather indelicately made a collective pass at me, it was vaguely flattering, and a bit of an ego boost. Thanks! I realize I have breasts, and that therefore makes me a potential for you to get lucky while on shore leave, sadly it's really not likely that I'm going to go off with 7 of you at once. Y'all had really nice buns in those white uniforms, though!

To my favorite coffee shop on First, you still make the best cup of coffee I've had in this town. You rock. Keep it up. Starbucks hasn't killed you yet, and if you were gone, I'd cry. A lot. And probably stop drinking coffee.

To the #2 that REFUSED TO COME ON TIME Thursday afternoon, I am *very* put out with you. Standing in front of Benaroya hall for an hour and a half is not my favorite way to pass the time. You came eventually, though, so I guess I can't stay mad forever.

To the smelly guy with the man-purse on the bus this afternoon, please don't act like my dog sitting quietly on the floor is any worse than you spreading your fat behind over three seats. She's quiet, well behaved and being a dog at least has an excuse for smelling less than clean. You, on the other hand, really should take a shower.

To the guys who made my coffee this morning at Diva Espresso, you totally cracked me up. Thanks for starting my morning in a good way.

To the older businessman in the nice suit with the long hair, please cut off your ponytail. You're going bald in front, and really, it just looks like the hair is sliding off the back of your head. Trust me, you'll be better off if it goes.

To the guy who was a total jerk to his 8 year old daughter who just wanted to pet my dog, and even asked me nicely, I really hope you shape up. She looked underfed and dirty, and just wanted to say hi to a friendly fuzzy thing. Yanking her back by her collar was really not necessary. You should probably also curb that habit of drinking in public with a child in tow - I think I'm not the only one who realized that was an open 40 in that black plastic bag you had.

To the 4 year old with the super cute mini chuck taylors on the bus today, thank you for reminding me that it's much more fun to get excited at trees and motorcycles and trucks and birds than to be grumpy at the end of a long work week.

To the guy who thought an acceptable pick-up line was implying that I have horrible music taste, it's really easy to see why you're still single. I might not be an alt-rock goddess, but at least I'm not a music snob. Also, being a music snob isn't attractive, nor does it mean you have good taste in music. Get over yourself.

To the woman who had to have her cat put down the other day, I'm really sorry for you, I almost cried when you came through the waiting room at the vet with him in his carrying case, and I did cry when you came out later without him. It's awful, and my heart goes out to you.

To Craigslist, thanks for helping me effectively waste another hour of my life. I don't know what I'd do without you!

post id: 89261944

email to friend

best of [?]