Originally Posted: 2005-05-15 2:38am
The Pimp on 23rd and Madison - w4m
Me: Minding my own business waiting for the bus and listening to my ipod.
You: Walking by me saying something to me.
Sorry, I missed what you said at first. I guess you didn’t notice the ear buds. You passed by, turned around, said something again and pointed at your crotch. I rolled my eyes and looked away.
I guess you were annoyed at my dismissal of your crude behavior, so you walked up and yelled in my face, “I’M A PIMP.” “Good for you,” I replied. You crossed the street and pointed at your crotch a few more times.
I wasn’t sure at the time, but were you subtly suggesting to me that I should be your ho? I’m sorry to admit that I dismissed your claims of being a pimp. Frankly, you’re such a little twerp that, even if you were a pimp, I’m sure any one of your hos would be able to kick your ass. However, now that I’ve thought it over, I do think you have potential. Your obvious misogyny makes you a prime candidate for a position as a pimp, although I still don’t want to be your ho.
What I’m proposing is that I serve as your pimp advisor. I can help you beef up. I’ll even chip in for some platform shoes so, at the very least, you’ll be a little taller than me. I’ll also watch your back until you reach the age of majority. How old are you anyway, 15, 16?
If you’re interested, please drop me a line.
P.S. Hopefully, your baggy pants were to blame, but your crotch looked a little flat. Might I suggest, if you make it a habit to attract attention to your crotch, you stick some socks down your pants? Just a thought.