best of craigslist > seattle > Hummers and Junk = Shallow Reduxd
Originally Posted: 2005-04-28 6:01pm

Hummers and Junk = Shallow Reduxd

First, I am the original poster. I am composing this on a machine that I built out of junk parts. I stole copy of XP to run on it, because Windows has been funded too well for too long. My name does not begin with 'S'.

I am a pilot, and I make six figures, putting in 7 days straight, then 4 off. I'm not entitled to burn thouands of gallons of gasoline simply because I want to. That's a nasty, neanderthal mindset. People who behave like gluttons in the face of all we know about the environment, pollution and global warming just aren't nice people. They're selfish, self-centered, arrogant, bling blinging pricks. And you can wail all you want about it - and OI know you will - because you're a selfish, self-centered, arrogant, bling-blinging prick.

But most importantly, I don't NEED one, so I don't own one. If that doesn't make sense then nothing I say will. It's common sense to buy the proper tool for the job. Getting to work on Interstate 90 every day does not constitute need. It's just excessive grandstanding. I don't drive nails with jackhammers, and I don't go to Safeway in a Tour Bus.

Hummers are not very good off-road vehicles for the Northwest Woods. I know because I did 6 years in the Army and drove these every day. They're too wide to fit between the narrow trees on logging roads. Oncoming traffic will mean you either back up for half a mile, or you make the other guy back up for half a mile. Too wide to make Y turns on dirt roads. They're too heavy to pull out of bogs. That weight makes stopping on ice, snow, or wet roads a nightmare. They're too long to rock crawl. They eat too much gas. The sightlines are miserable. You need to be able to see to the rear when rock crawling. They're patently slow. Maneuverability is poor.

I could go on and on and on. I have driven offroad in these things and in Jeeps and in numerous offroad hoopties. More than anyone I know, so don't bother trying to sell me on your HUMMWVEE. I know better.

A sensible person with a modicum of wealth might buy a truck to haul wood, pull a trailer, haul livestock feed or tools. A rancher might own a Jeep or a 4Runner to work his farm or go to fishing holes in the Cascades. These are sensible, comfortable, highly capable vehicles at a modest price that work beautifully for what they are intended to do. They are easy on the wallet at the pumps too. The Hummer is a waste. It's not very good at anything.

Most of all, and the original point, is that it's JUST NOT NICE to consume more resources than you need simply to be seen driving a watered-down status symbol. It was Suburbans in the 90's, now it's Hummers, and the same people have no use for them at all most times. An even larger percentage wouldn't know how to use one offroad. Offroading is about torque and finesse, not power and speed.

When you live in parity with your life - taking only what you can eat, helping out those who are less fortunate instead of spoiling yourself - then you will find fulfillment. You'll sleep better knowing that you have a purpose. That you are aware of the other 6 and a half billion people on this ball of dirt, and understand the need to cooperate.

To live simply and leave a small ecological footprint is a more peaceful and meaningful life. The hallmarks of a real man in tune with his place on earth are that he is comfortable with his masculinity, has spurned ego and pretense as obstacles to conquer, and knows that giving back to whomever he can wherever he can rather than beating everyone else to the dinner table is the path to happiness.

I think this covers all the salient points thus far raised in defense of these ugly, impractical, resource hogs. Again, if these message don't resonate, you're just not capable of making sensible decisions and probably never will be. That kind of life sucks.

post id: 70728893

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