Originally Posted: 2005-05-12 7:08pm
You Annoying Little Bastard, Why Must You Be So Sexy - w4m
Yeah, you. You're in one of my bio classes. And I've got two things to say to you, my irritating little friend.
1. You are annoying as hell.
2. I want to fuck you silly!
That's right. I can't stand your whiny voice, your constant nonstop babbling, or your self-important narcissism. But god damn, you're hot. You are HOT. You piss me off so bad, but I could almost ignore that for a couple hours in the sack with your sexy skinny little ass.
You're an athlete, and you make sure we all know it. You tell us about yourself every chance you get. "Blah blah blah blah, me me me me, here's what I did today and here's what I plan to do tomorrow and aren't I clever!" "Oh, hmm, interesting. But enough about you, here's more fascinating info about ME!" "I'm a smartass sexy as fuck young studly college boy with an unbelievably physically fit body that can screw nonstop, and don't I know it! Aren't I beautiful!"
Yeah. You're gorgeous and you're clearly aware of that. Very good.
Oh sure, take out your food and crunch loudly during lecture. No, no, I know full well you need the energy to feed your racing metabolism, you don't need to describe it in detail. I get really fucking turned on thinking about that racing metabolism of yours, but I don't need to hear your eating in my ear or your list of reasons why you must keep the nutrition coming in to maintain your physical perfection. I'll give you something you can eat, hot shot.
Oh yeah go ahead and stretch and yawn loudly and kick my chair with your long gangly legs. I know your muscles are used to contracting and pumping and working long and hard, and they can't take all this time cramped in a classroom chair. Oh believe me, I don't need any convincing. In fact, I'm visualizing your pumping muscles as we speak.
Christ you make me wet. No, shut up, just shut up. You talk too much. Sure I'd do you. But only if you wear duct tape over your mouth.