Originally Posted: 2009-11-06 10:58pm
re How do you make friends at bars?
Buy girls drinks? Please, don't let yourself get used/waste your money.
OK, listen up punk.... you got three major factors, no, four, working against you. First, you're male. In case you haven't noticed, and I think you have, females utterly rule the social scene at bars and clubs. A woman can have you thrown out of a bar or club with just a word to the bouncer. You are in their world and are basically powerless.
Second, you are young. Most women prefer chatting/blowing.f-cking men a few years older than them (that is, until they crest the magic cougar age of 40, at which time a different set of rules kicks in). You might catch the interest of an 18-YO girl but she won't be at a club since the legal age is 21. And part of the curse of young adulthood (for both sexes) is a lack of experience in life. That's a sub-strike against you to go with the biology and sexual politics of age.
Third, you are straight. If you were gay you could be meeting/having sex with any number of guys before midnight tonight, no problem, yet even here in Rochester, NY. But you're not.
And last, you are very likely NOT well-off. Make $25k/yr and expect to be a babe magnet? Forget it.
20 years ago I was in the same position you are in, as are 99% of young men. You are appreciated in society if you are willing to get killed or kill others in the name of their freedom or well-being, or if you are the son of wealthy/influential people. Other than that, you are utterly disposable to everyone but your parents. It will not be until or unless you make decent money, get a bit older and wiser, and thus more valuable to society (ie, women) that you stand a chance out there in the social scene. To make matters worse, the average 18-30 YO female is more comfortable and often prefers the company of other females her age. Straight men rarely seek the company of other men their age since what they really want to do is f-ck the girls - unless the other guy is a babe magnet for whatever reason, in which case the motivation remains the same.
The girls want to f-ck, too, but "not just anyone". That's hormones and biology at work... at work against you.
Now that you are ready to kill yourself, take heart in a few salient facts of life:
1. As time goes on, your value in society goes up. You start as a disposable sperm-farm and eventually end up valued. That is because implicit in your ability to survive until you're at least 30 or 40 is your fitness as a source of offspring and what you can give to others based on your work and experience. You remain valuable, as do females, for what you can do for others. Human beings are ruthless exploiters of their own kind and this has not changed in millenia, though how this manifests does vary here and there.
2. As women age, their value declines. That is because, as you may have guessed based on item 1, it's all about reproductive/sexual potential. As theirs wanes, their power does to; as yours waxes, your power also waxes. That is why a bubbleheaded fool like, oh, say, Paris Hilton, commands headline attention while her equally-vapid and stylish mother does not.
3. So as you get older, life gets better for you in terms of your place in society. But in other ways, it may get worse. Likewise for women as they age, their value declines but in some ways, life gets better.
There is no way to solve this problem short of, say, joining a street gang. Those guys make lots of money selling drugs and thus have no trouble getting girls. Girls like "security", which means money. It's all about money. It always has been and always will be. You could be as unappealing as Bill Gates but with his money you can bang every super-hot babe on the planet. This is why law enforcement efforts to stop "gang activity" are doomed to utter and dismal failure. When money and pu$$y is on the line, there is nothing stopping the train.
So if you really want to become more appealing socially, find some way to make a lot money fast. Otherwise I suggest you simply bide your time and content yourself with handjobs at massage parlors or $20 blowjobs on Mt Read. Or, you could sign up with the local model rocketry club and at least there you can swap stories about how far you got your rockets to fly and what are the best masturbatory techniques for banging it off right in time when the coxman nuts his load in the porno you plan to watch after you're done playing with your model rockets.
You do have one thing down though: drinking. Keep drinking. At your age, it's all you've got. But hang in there, resist the urge to kill yourself. It will get better, trust me.
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