Originally Posted: 2010-01-21 1:29pm

Dysfunctional Family Getting It Together Moving Sale

That's it. I really mean it this time. We are DONE with the dysfunctional family nonsense.

I probably have to move. And even if I don't move? I still have to raise some funds quickly. I need an attorney.

And so, I will have numerous items for sale, not only collectibles.

I will be back later to edit this ad to make it more organized. For now, here is what I am pretty sure I can get rid of:

1. 1950's fox stole, in good condition. Well, decent condition. It does need to have at least one pelt resewn into the one next to it. I might be able to repair this if I can find the time.

2. 1950's fox thing ladies wore around their necks. I cannot recall what they are called. It's the real animal, taxidermied and stuffed. It clips around the neck.

3. LOTS and lots of vintage ladies' leather gloves, all in very good condition. Really, no one is emailing me about these. If I don't hear back from you folks here on Craigslist, you'll be forcing me to take the time to go to a consignment shop. Please don't do that. I am so short on time right now. Check out the ladies gloves, or just show some interest. These are beautiful.

4. Assorted other collectibles: demitasse spoons, glassware:

Glassware includes two sets of vintage wine glasses, the ones that people today think are really just for cordials or shots. That's not the size of a glass of wine the way it used to be served. These are almost tulip shaped, flared out on top of bowl, etched with floral patterns. Both are crystal. The one set, unfortunately, the better of the two, has one broken glass. It's a very clean break at the base of the bowl.

One set of cobalt, hand-blown champagne flutes. These have "markers" for them, like the things you see at Pier One and other nouveau riche, overpriced stores? The markers have pearls and/or crystals or other beads on them.

5. Loads and loads of ladies clothing. Some formal, some casual. Some excellent quality, some just so-so. Quite a few pieces of leather ladies clothing. Skirts, pants. Silk. Leather boots. Formal dresses. How I hate to part with these, but he never thought I was worth taking out like that anyway. I just play dress-ups with them myself. You know, all alone late at night, when it's quiet, and I can put on my Lady Diana black cocktail dress, the simple black one, and pretend for a while? Problem is? I'm not eight years old anymore. Obviously, I do not need this dress. Or the other formal ones.

I also have these incredibly gorgeous shawls. Some are silk. What a shame that my cashmere cape went missing. I'd sell that now too. I would probably cry, but? Such is life.

6. Loads of kids clothes, toys, books; GOOD condition (Hollister, lots of name brands). Shoes? You want shoes, especially for boys and male teenagers? We've got TONS of these. Nothing but the best, but money is always such an issue. Why does this just not make sense? Is it me? Or is that just dumb? Now, tell me, just what kind of man goes out and buys a $200 bicycle for a first grader and then says he might not be able to pay child support next month? Nothing but the best, oh no.

7. Furniture. I am not sure what is staying, what is going yet. I will try to post pictures this evening. Some from 1960s, some from 1980s, some older than that. Mohagany, pecan, ash, leather, marble. Thomasville bedroom set, pier-group style headboard with lights and storage headboard, two chests of drawers on either side. Armoire with door on one side and shelves inside, drawers on the other side. Triple dresser, with two doors that open to shelves and two drawers each. This was given to me by my father; he bought it in 1980. Very nice pieces. Tropical look. Wicker trim. I do have some repairs to do on this set. All dovetailed drawers. All labeled with exactly what chest it came out of, so that they didn't get lost or help me lose my mind in all these moves. Geeze, the dysfunction has to stop.

8. Very good book collection. Please let me know what sorts of books you are interested in, and I'll go have a look and cry while I contemplate parting with my precious books. Plenty of philosophy, mythology, economics. Oxford Thesaurus, hard cover; Oxford Encyclopedia of the English Language. Text books that were too good to toss out. Wish I knew where my big cocktail-table book on Egypt was. Dad gave that to me when I was only about ten or twelve years old. I'd seen it in National Geographic. Lost in yet another move. So was the book The Age of Reason. Even my box of rocks in the mahogany dovetailed box from way back in the 30's was lost in one move. Just how does a box of rocks get lost? Lost in the dysfunction. So was my pearl necklace. And he griped at me that "moving is hard on vehicles," when I asked if I could use his brand new SUV to move some boxes, so as to save some money on the moving expenses. But I've still got lots of good books left. Pardon me, while I shed a few tears here. My books. I love them.

EDIT Feb 4: Lots of history books--The Atlas of World History; several books on the World Wars; philosophy (Ayn Rand, Adam Smith, Karl Marx, etc), Algebra and Trigonometry Solver; more math and algebra text books; Barron's Study Guides--some for Spanish, some for mathematics; several John Jakes paperbacks from series (Kent Family--volume 1 and 3 [might be more here of those]), several of the Folgers Library Shakespeare paperbacks: Hamlet, Merchant of Venice, and a few more in this series; a few Harry Potter book, including a mint condition paperback edition of The Prisoner of Azkaban and one hard cover [I'll check later for that title]; Box Car Children--one or two from this series; a very cool and interesting book called Shakespeare Stories, which is a contemporary rendition of some of the bard's plays (Othello, King Lear, The Tempest, The Taming of the Shrew, Henry the IV, Part One [of my very favorite pieces of literature of all time!], Romeo and Juliet--and a few more--this is a great book for anyone who loves Shakespeare's works or also for students studying Shakespeare because the plays are written like late 20th century novels; two HP Lovecraft books, one paperback, one hard cover; a few John Grisham novels, Nefertiti and more history/anthropology books; Family Treasury of Great Biographies, volume two [George Washington, Mahatma Ghandi, Einstein, Marie Antoinette, Mark Twain]; linguistics text books/study guides; Wake Tech text books (writing text books); lots of writing guides, etc. Also, I just now realized this: I've got some cookbooks, including a brand new, never-been-used copy of Desserts by Pierre Herme. I used to have these two wonderful cookbooks from the 1950s that disappeared in some of these moves. One was called NEVER IN THE KITCHEN WHEN COMPANY ARRIVES. Oh, how I wanted to do real entertaining . . . too bad those books are missing.

I have a lot of books, though so many of them have been lost or "loaned" to people who never returned them. Some are just missing.

For practical reasons, if you want to buy books, I have to ask that you buy a minimum number. I'm not trying to be pushy; it's just that my time is so limited right now, and making an appointment for one or two books is just not worth my time. That sounds so snotty--I do not mean it that way.

Also, someone who collects book for children in foster care emailed me. I wish she would get back in touch with me. I have so many children's books that would be great for children stuck in the limbo/hell of foster care.

8. SOME jewelry. Some is "real" stuff, but I'm not sure I'm ready to part with just yet.

If you're into costume jewelry or beading, I've got it. Let me know what you are looking for, and I'll get back to you. Much of what I have are very high quality beads, some with semi-precious stones, pearls; 925 silver and GP findings; and some of it it is just junk. Swarovski crystals, flatbacks, glass pearls, Czech glass. More unfinished projects. Too much chaos.

9. New in box: stun gun (no, I did not stun him--not with the stun gun, anyway); pepper spray. Never opened the pepper spray and no, it was not for spraying him. I just thought I ought to protect myself from dangerous folks in the outside world. It was INSIDE the home that the danger lay. Both are new in the box, with price stickers on them. I'm feeling too lazy at the moment to go look at the prices. Check back, please.

10. Beach items-umbrellas, etc. One umbrella is a six-foot thatch thing, new in the box. Buy it? Lose it in the shed, forget about it, and then because money is just no object? Go buy another one. Brilliant family management. Also a beach cabana. You know, the kind that you can really set up camp with at the beach? I also used it for art shows. It can go too. Maybe my sewing machine too, and all that fabric I've collected over the years. Isn't this just pathetic?

11. Office supplies--magnetic backed paper for making cards, cutters, tools and lots more.

12. Beautiful handmade ojets d'art; send email for pictures. Trust me, these are beautiful. I made them myself, but the dysfunction got so out of hand that I was never able to properly get them to market. Or rather, the few times I did, the stock market crashed (Remember THAT? In October '08?). Or there was just no cooperation coming from those who should have cooperated. Or there was too much interference. You know, that's one lesson I've learned through all of this: Don't interfere. Just don't.

13. Antique 12 -made in 1902. Will get the info on that and put it in this ad. I found an identical one online last year, same brand, everything. Makes a nice piece for putting above your fireplace (but don't use it, for heaven's sake). Sorry, had to take this out for now. Have to check on legality of selling it. Contact me after Friday, and I'll let this go to the highest bidder. It came from an Italian stationary/lottery store in Brooklyn, from the 1920s (though it is older than that).

14. Antique desk with ink well, oak, iron legs beautifully refinished by my mother. Chair to go with it is maple, I believe. Trust me, you can beat the heck out of this thing and you won't hurt it. Very strong, sturdy pieces. Sorry, Mother, to get rid of it. Too bad I gave the children's antique mahogany desk to my friend; I'd sell that one too.

15. Solid--yes, authentic solid cherry bookshelf. It is not veneered, which is very unusual, even in high quality furniture. A good, strong bookshelf. It's a dag-goned shame that families have to make such messes out of things, because this is a very beautiful, high quality piece of furniture. I'd love to keep it. $125 for this piece. You would pay that for the junk made in China today--with chip core made out of wood chips drenched in formaldehyde (no, I'm not kidding; that's what most of that chip core stuff is: poison). Then again? Dysfucntional families are poison to the human soul. What do I care if I no longer have this THING?

16. Sealy Posturepedic queen-sized mattress and box springs. You cannot beat the quality of Sealy/Stearns and Foster. My back stopped aching when I got this bed.

Someone emailed me about this. I'm sorry, but I cannot recall which reply is yours. Email me again, if you are still interested.

And you know, this just occurred to me: something that would help me tremendously is the name of item[s] you are interested being put into the subject line of your reply to me. That way, I can keep better track of all this.

17. Lots of gardening tools: pots, soil, hangers.

18. Charcoal grill. Not a big one. Good to go, once it's cleaned. You give me $15 to get it off my porch and it's yours. Take all the charcoal that's left and the lighter fluid too. It's also got a cover. Not that we, in our dysfunctional style of living, used the cover. Heavens, no. So much better to make a mess and leave it for Mom to clean up. Or some cleaning fairy that never showed. I will get that picture before the day is out. I apologize to the lady who asked me several times for the picture. My computer crashed and had to be taken in for repairs. That also set me back about a week.

19. Bad time of year to be selling my hand painted Christmas tree ornaments, isn't it? If you like unique Christmas tree ornaments and are willing to be merciful with me (as in: please don't try to buy my labor and creativity for fifty cents), I can go through that stuff and find you some really gorgeous ones. Santa wizards, hand painted by me; the ornaments themselves made out of crushed pecan shells. These things went over quite well with the other side of the family, and I"m feeling like a jackass for se