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Girls Piss Me Off ! ! !
Girls Piss Me Off.. "can you tell im single"? ? ?
I swear that if I wasn't sexually attracted to girls that I'd be gay. At least
guys make sense most the time.
First off, girls just talk way too much. When you're with your other
girlfriends, go ahead and talk about whatever the fuck you want. I don't care.
But why exactly do you think that I care about the kind of day that your sisters
co-workers dog had? Your sister is nice enough, but I don't know her co-worker
and I certainly don't know her dog. So why the fuck are you telling me this
story? I don't care! If you have something worth talking about, then I can enjoy
engaging you in a meaningful conversation. But before you start talking to me
about some of the insane frivolous shit that you talk to your girlfriends about,
first ask yourself "Does this have a point?". Because if it doesn't I'm just
going to smile, and nod, and zone out and you'll get mad because I'm not
listening to your retarded shit!
Stop over complicating everything. There isn't an ulterior motive or hidden
meaning in every other sentance. Unless, I suppose, it's coming out of the mouth
of another woman. Because you ladies never can seem to say what you actually
mean. You have this weird secret code that you love to try and crack and expect
us guys to be able to get in on your stupid game. Guys aren't like that. Rarely
rarely RARELY will you ever have to figure out what a guy is actually saying. We
say what we mean. Girls have such a skewed sense of logic that this simple
concept is often lost on them. When you go searching for some deeper meaning
that isn't there, you're just committing to an act of futility. In the end you
wind up making up some bullshit and believing that it must be true and acting on
that false reality and making a mess of something for no apparent reason other
than the fact that you're in-fucking-sane.
Stop getting upset at guys for trying to help solve your problems. That's what
guys do. You present us with a problem, we're going to try and fix it. It's in
our fucking nature. I know it's in your nature to want to talk about everything,
but if you're going to bring up your problems to a guy, expect that he's going
to try and do something about it or give you advice. Women always bitch that
guys don't listen. It's not that we don't listen, we just don't understand why
you're bringing up your problems if you don't want us to do something about it.
We're not as empathetic as your girlfriends, so if you want empathy, go to them.
Likewise, if guys have a problem, they'll probably only bring it up if they need
help or advice. Many women will bitch that guys don't talk enough. It's not that
guys don't talk, it's just that your empathy doesn't help solve our problems
when we do talk.
One of the most insanely frustrating things about women is the constant
reassurance. No, you're not fat. If you were fat you wouldn't be able to fit
into that size 2 dress. And yes, you look good. Guys wouldn't be giving you free
shit if you were ugly. (There's an ulterior fucking motive for you. Hint:
They're not giving you free stuff just to be sweet.) It's so frustrating having
to constantly answer those questions, only to not be believed. It's like trying
to convince someone that the sky is blue. You're not blind, you're not even
color blind. You can see that the sky is blue. Yet you continue to ask what
color the sky is. I tell you it's blue. I know that you know what color blue is.
And even though I've told you that the sky is blue about fifty-million times,
you still have to ask because...I don't know...maybe it's not blue today. The
sky is fucking blue goddammit! You're not fucking fat! You're not fucking ugly!
You know it, I know it, everyone fucking knows it!
And fuck all you ultra-hot girls that bitch about the most retarded things.
Yeah, all men are fucking pigs because they stare at your boobs. I'm sure it has
nothing to do with the fact that you're wearing a skin tight low cut shirt that
has 'Bebe' printed across your boobs... one 'Be' per boob. It's totally unfair
that you have to put up with guys staring at you all the time just because you
like to look sexy. And boo hoo, it's so hard for you to meet a nice guy. Well
actually it isn't, because the shoulder your crying on belongs to a nice guy.
He's the one that puts up with all your stupid shit. And yet you some how end up
with all the assholes. I'm sure that it has nothing to do with the fact that
you're holding out for a six foot tall alpha-male fire fighter with a trust
And finally, yay for you. You sold a freezer to some eskimos. Congratulations on
being the hot sales rep. We're all very proud of you for being able to have a
nice ass while the rest of us actually have to work for a living. And we're all
so excited to see your new diamond jewelry. Your ability to date another rich
fucktard that will shower you with expensive bobbles is commendable. And I'll be
so surprised and sorry for you when he dumps you for the next hot girl. Because
I really thought that materialistic trophy bagger was in love with you. But I'm
happy to hear that you wrecked your fifth car while multi-tasking between your
cell phone and doing your make up in the mirror. Your dedication to enforcing
the stereotype of women drivers is nothing short of awe inspiring. And you're
right, I was being a shallow douchebag when I commented on the hotness of Eva
Longoria. So lets go see that movie where Johnny Depp makes out with Orlando
Bloom on Brad Pitts abs. I know you've been dying to see that one.
Girls...you piss me the fuck off. You do stupid shit and manage to get away with
it. You can be the most annoying idiots in the world. Your sense of logic and
common sense seems to be a rare gift rather than a common trait. And yet I'm
uncontrollably attracted to you. And that's quite possibly the most frustrating
thing of all.
--YES IM STILL SINGLE
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