best of craigslist > philadelphia > A Turd in the Tub
Originally Posted: 2005-01-19 5:48pm

A Turd in the Tub

About eighteen months ago, I decided to do my wife a favor, and bathe our (then) two-year old. Being a toddler, she likes a LOT of toys in the bathtub, along with a metric TON of bubble bath. So many toys and bubbles, in fact, that it's hard to tell that there is actually a CHILD in the tub.

Being a helpful child, she likes to hand you things. Also, being a female child, she keeps up a steady patter of stream-of-consciousness natter in the background as she does so. Like most parents, I tuned it out and occasionally interjected a mutter of my own. Until...

"Here, Dahdee. This is for you." And she hands me a SLIMY, STICKY, STINKY BROWN TURD.

I hollered.
I gagged.
I promptly threw up un the bathtub.

Which upset my daughter, and pronpted HER to throw up in the bathtub. Leaving my daughter in a tub full of bubbles, toys, turds and puke.

My wife went NUCLEAR. Snatched our daughter out of the tub, ran her into the OTHER bathtroom, and re-bathed her.

Leaving me to deal with scrubbing out the tub and washing shit and puke off of each of the zillion bathtub toys. Gah.


post id: 56305427

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