I want to fight a Vegan
I sincerely promise that it’s not a Gay or masochist thing, or in any way sexual related. Nor do I represent commercial or monetary interests of any kind. This fight is simply a straight forward “Work through your feelings” meets “Express your frustration” type of thing.
Condition 1. You must wear at least one piece of Vegan paraphernalia with the text “Vegan, then nobody gets hurt.” That will get my blood boiling in no time and would ensure a more interesting fight. I promise to wear a T-shirt with something equally provoking…like “Eat your steak like a man,” or “McDonalds.”
Condition 2. You must be an all-out-level-three-Vegan (for at least three years). This means no honey in your herbal tea, not even on Spring equinox! No leather shoes, and please, don’t be a sell-out by having a sorry ass job at a conventional Café that serves low fat Tuna Club sandwiches.
Condition 3. You must be political active and not just agree with Vegan babes to get laid (no exceptions). I want to see scars from police dogs, picture of your arrest at Animal Rights rallies, or the protest banner that you made yourself and swung outside Burger King’s cooperate headquarters.
In return I can only promise that I am an ordinary guy who pays little attention to the news, and who quietly supports the humane treatment of animals by buying organic meat. And who likes his bacon and eggs in the morning, and believes that his diet is none of your damn business. If this have your interest, please respond to this rant. With the right person I honestly believe that we can cultivate some seriously animosity, so let’s meet and kick some teeth in.
Killer Diet Man