Sugar Daddy translator
***Guy with money but no social skills, a paunch, and an inflated sense of my ego seeks woman clearly out of my league and is offering to pay you to pretend to like me. Said woman must have sex with me a couple of times a week and may be taken on trips if I so deign. You must be hot, and although I put in intelligent as a criteria, let's be honest here. You could have the brain of a cucumber for all I care.***
Extremely generous benefit$ and all the amenities available to Ms. Right, based on my level of happiness and satisfaction.
***I am looking for a prostitute, even though I want to pretend otherwise. If I like you, I'll pay you what I see fit. If you do a rotten job in bed, you may get nothing. As I feel ineffective in general, I like to get involved in relationships where I can lord over the other person and exercise what little power I have because I get off on feeling powerful.***
No limits on what this may grow into for the right woman.
***I will pretend I am capable of having a real relationship to string you along, but don't worry, it's an act.***
Generous, sexy, kind, warm, passionate and all around "great guy" looking for a possible LTR and more....seeking someone to pamper, spoil and care for in all the right ways, and to be pampered and well cared for romantically in return....
***Materialistic, horny, deluded, overly touchy and (just to reiterate) horny jerk looking for someone I can stick my dick into on a regular basis without having to actually try to establish a relationhship beyond that of employer and employee...I will buy you things if you have sex with me...***
You will know how to care for my simple needs, and be willing and able to show your appreciation for all that I can and will do for you if we click.
***If I think you're hot, I'll let you have sex with me in return for some shiny baubles and a bite to eat. Your first priority has to be my sexual gratification. After all, that's all I'm really looking for.***
You should be romantic, sexy, attentive, pleasant, warm and attractive.....NOT looking for someone who is much overweight,..and particularly not looking for someone with excess baggage, or an attitude problem.
***Even though I clearly have some deep personality issues and am completely incapable of meeting people through normal means because I am so busy with my super-duper important work, I want someone way out of my league and who is in no way fat, because I need someone perfect because I am also perfect. You should be totally happy to be demeaned in this fashion - I'm not hiring you to think after all.***
Single mom's (with childcare) ok.
***Since this doesn't seem to be working (oddly enough) the more desperate you are for money, the better. I might have a better chance that way. Keep in mind however, that you have to have childcare, because I don't want the little brat around when we're hooking up.***
Please have a nice smile, and a sense of humor, realizing that this is a sincere offer from someone with a very limited amount of time and who has grown bored with the "normal" plain vanilla ways of meeting someone, and who honestly seeks a best friend, lover and partner, any way he can find HER.
***Please always laugh at what I say so that I feel important and realize that this is a sincere offer from someone who likes to pretend my limited time is why I can't find a relationship and who has grown bored with constantly getting rejected by women with self-respect who apparently don't take well to my offering to buy their affections. I would like to pretend that this is because other people form relationships in boring, "vanilla" ways while I am exciting and different.***
I'm ready to meet you now, and make decisions based on the quality of response.
***I am really horny and would like to take care of this ASAP, but only if you are hot enough for me. I will lead you to believe that you are in competition with other women who contact me because I like power games and belittling people.***
I am single and available NOW and you Should be too.
***I'm really really horny and you should be too.***
The usual non's PLEASE:
***Don't be fat.***
SEND RECENT CLEAR PICS SHOWING YOUR FACE AND FIGURE IN FIRST CONTACT
***Even though I post repeatedly and don't put my own picture up, I expect you to give me your picture. ****
Hey buddy, just give it up and hire a protitute without couching your intentions as honorable. You want to pay a woman for money and you want to not have to look around each time you want to get laid. Sadly, despite a world full of goldiggers, you can't even find that. Give it up and hire a hooker.
Go ahead now. Call me fat and jealous because I can't get a man like you because that's the only reason that an attractive, intelligent woman wouldn't want to be bought by you, right?. What color is the sky in your world?