best of craigslist > portland > a day in the life
Originally Posted: 2007-11-08 11:02pm

a day in the life

A day in the life of a craigslist heman.

Wake up at noon and eat cold pizza while checking email and cl boards.

Repost everything that was flagged down yesterday. Fucking libtards!

Drink warm mountain dew while searching for pictures of fat women, deformed genitalia, Mexicans and dog shit online.

Masturbate to same pics.

Wipe key board with hem of t shirt and go take a shit.

Weigh yourself before you sit down. Tell yourself that your big boned.

Masturbate while on the can and take a pic of your load with camera phone.

Weigh yourself after to see how big your dump was.

Browse free porn sites. Distort photo's to make the pussys look huge.

Post ad in casual encounters saying 'must fuck now, no fatties' and ad in M4W saying your a smart funny and sensitive guy looking for someone to cuddle, no fatties.

Pick nose while posting hate rants about illegals. Include the dog shit pics you just downloaded.

Check in box for female replies to your posts on ce and m4W.

Delete 40 bot replies. Fucking assholes!

Respond to 5 real replies from women using a pic from college and a pic of a cock that looks similar to yours, sort of.

Photo shop your bathroom load on any pics sent to you, two loads for anyone who looks like they are fat and immedialty repost them on R&R and call them cows and whores.

Open the ten replies from men offering you blow jobs. Masturbate to a cock shot and then get angry.

Go post anti gay hate posts with a pic of 'god hates fags'.

Read responses to your earlier posts and threaten anyone who slammed you. Challenge them to meet mano a mano in a parking lot somewhere.

Browse free stuff looking for things to resell on eBay.

Browse free porn sites.

Post personal ads again. Include fake cock pic this time.

Post more gay bashing rants with pic of guy with a bottle up his ass.

Browse erotic services.yell upstairs and ask your mom to loan you $150. When she tells you no go back to computer and seeach for dark skinned women to repost to ice. Fucking illegal whores!

Browse free porn sites.

Make up a fake name and troll for a few hours. Pretend to be a shallow, slutty woman who types tee hee in all her posts. Use pics that respondee's sent you.

Read all the responses to your fake bitch posts and laugh hysterically.

Yell upstairs for your mom to order you a pizza.

Browse free porn.

Think about all the losers posting on cl and how much smarter you are then all of them. What asshats!

Masturbate again

Tell yourself tomorrow your going to start working out and send that resume to Microsoft, they would be lucky to have you.

Pass out at 3am so you can get up early. Your 40th birthday is tomorrow and your really gonna slam that asshole bitch who called you a troll.



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