Jesus christ, online dating can produce some of the worst dates ever. The last guy i went out with brought a sock puppet... a fucking sock puppet... on our date and tried to talk to me with it. To be cute, I think. But it freaked me out. Seriously.
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Maybe I'm old fashioned, but no sock puppets please. And if my use of "jesus christ" offended you, we're probably not a good match.
I'd prefer someone funny. Not like "I have a great sense of humor" funny, but seriously funny. And if you're reading this thinking "Hey, I'm funny!" then you're probably not.
Also, I know that all of you say that you love to hike. And I also know that most of you dont. I'm the same way. I like nature. I enjoy hanging out there occasionally. But I don't subscribe to backpacker magazine and I'm not going to imply that I do.
And this is important: i am totally retarded for my cat. Like baby-noises retarded. I like my cat more than I will probably ever like you. You should like my cat more than me too.
- I'm totally into that Flash Gordon movie with the Queen soundtrack (Flash... AHHHH AHHHHH!).
- I enjoy foreign films, but not like those people that enjoy foreign films on the first and second dates, then only like football. I really enjoy them, and will probably want to see them on my third and fourth dates too.
- I dont swear much, but i would much rather hang out with people who do. People who dont swear are boring.
- I sell my soul away in a cube from 8-5. you should be prepared to listen to me complain about this. A lot.
- I listen to some really spineless this-is-what-IKEA-sounds-like music (Aimee Mann, Coldplay, Pete Yorn) - the kind of music that comes prestocked in a condo. and I know it isn't cool. I'm sorry. So if you're hoping for someone to tell you why Bee Thousand is the best GBV album, I'm probably not your type.