I feel like I know you buddy, my dirtbag friend with problems, but we've never met. I got a new phone number, and your people keep leaving messages on my answering machine. The first was from your boss, asking why you weren't at work. Those continued for a few days. The messages changed from annoying to entertaining as your boss called and alternated pissed-off/threatening with pleading/begging you to come back to work.
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Over the next week I started to look forward to coming home and seeing how your life was playing out on my machine. You must have had a really crappy job no one else wanted, because those calls continued for a week and a half.
Some pissed off spanish speaking woman called when I was home for once, and I told her you didn't live there. I speak little spanish, but I understand angry woman in any language, so you should probably smooth things over with your girlfriend.
A law office has called the last two days, regarding some lawsuit. I left messages saying they have the wrong number, but they keep calling anyways.
Dude, Alberto, your getting fired, dumped, and sued. I am waiting for messages from the police, but I have been praying for you Alberto. If it makes you feel any better, I enjoyed the drama on my machine.