Local Gay To Cease Reading Of "I SAW U"s
November 2, 2003
LOCAL GAY TO CEASE READING OF "I SAW U"s
CONTACT: ANDY BLUBAUGH, area homosexual
Portland, Oregon - Local gay Andy Blubaugh announced today that he will no longer be reading the "I SAW YOU" column in the popular weekly newspaper The Portland Mercury.
"This was not an easy decision to make," said Blubaugh of the radical move, "but after three years of avidly reading the column in every single issue, I can no longer take the disappointment."
Blubaugh cited a complete lack of participation on the part of everyone else in the city of Portland for the switch.
"I know that someone out there has seen me. But no one has written an 'I SAW YOU' for me. I am positive. I've even written back to some ads that sounded like they could have been me, but probably weren't. Like if somebody described someone like me who was at the Division Stumptown on Tuesday, but I was at the Downtown one on Wednesday, I'd still drop a line, just to be sure. But no dice."
This landmark decision also covers "Missed Connections", "Chance Encounters" and similar columns in Willamette Week, The Oregonian, Just Out and Craigslist.org. Blubaugh will read his final "I SAW YOU" on Thursday, November 13th (deadline for publishing in this issue of the Portland Mercury is Monday, November 10th). Those who see Blubaugh and would like to make contact after that date can still e-mail firstname.lastname@example.org or, god forbid, have some balls and say hello in person.