Originally Posted: 2003-10-04 2:22am
Tall girl looking for short men
Do not send a photo.
Do not send me any erotic stories.
Do not tell me you are cute, sexy, good in bed, or otherwise state your powers.
I am not submisive, do not want to be spanked, kiss my ass.
I am tall. I hate tall men. They have egos and whine.
Short me are better looking, but I will not abide begging.
I do not like tatoo work. Metal, or otherwise altered skin. No, I am not kidding.
If you are married shoot yourself prior to emailing me, I don't care.
Don't send me your cell number.
Don't send me a link to your web site.
Don't ask me to go to some other chat site.
Don't tell me about your business, your income, or your car. I don't care.
Be as direct as I am. Write a lot. This took time.
Again, NO PHOTOS.
If you are short, bonus points for ugly (giggle) and not afriad to say so, then I might be interested.
If you are tall, or think I am kidding, I don't care.
If you have tickets to a sports event, burn them, because I don't care.
If you drink, smoke, or do any form of drugs. See help, and I am not it.
If you have had an STD or have been exposed to an STD in the last 100 years, then I have no interest in knowing about you, do not write!
If you have been sexually active in the last 25 years I want you to email me the email addresses of all your partners so I can confirm you are a nut case prior to our meeting. Otherwise do not mention what you did with the two girls last summer. I don't care.
I like short men. By this I do not mean men who are closer to 6foot than to 5 foot, or men who are short sitting down, or who have to consider the size of what should be kept in their pants.
Hair, you will shave, you are not bald, you do not color it, you are not a rock star wanna be.
Rock star, you are not one. You are not in a band, if you think bands are cool that's nice for you, I DON'T CARE!
Phone sex, no. I don't, you won't, we shall not. EVER!
Blow Jobs, go find someone else, I don't care if you are frustrated. The color of your balls is highly uninteresting to me. And no, I do not need a licking, and any suggestions related to your ability to do so will bore me.
Can you listen and not talk for more than an hour?
Bonus points if you do not own a TV, a radio, or own a single CD or DVD. (The one in your computer is okay.)
You do not play online games. EVER.
You do not Quad, Mud truck, or drive on the beach.
I read and write in English. If you have an illness and must use another language see a doctor, don't email me.