My upcoming birthday - m4w
* All of their skirts must be very short, and while I prefer that they all wear matching tartans, I'm not concerned with which tartan it is.
* All of their mary-janes must have at least 3-inch heels (chunky heels preferred, but I try not to be picky).
* Their blouses should be at least 2 sizes too small for their surprisngly ample chests.
* All must paradoxically be of legal age of consent, and yet still giggling and in school, so that I can meet them behind the bleachers. Lollipops optional, pigtails required.
All my friends are hereby officially on notice that I'm tired of my simple request going repeatedly unfulfilled. My missed connection: my birthday present.