best of craigslist > portland > The DMV hates you too
Originally Posted: 2006-02-07 6:48pm

The DMV hates you too

I agree that the DMV sucks.

But the main reason the DMV sucks, is because of the people who go there. It's the same with the post office, bank, car rental agency, airport, etc.

See, when I'm in line at the store, I have my money or plastic out and ready to pay. When I step up to the Hertz counter, I have a printout of my reservation from their web site in my hand with my driver's license and credit card. I answer all the questions quickly. I can rent a car in less time than most people spend to withdraw $40 from an ATM.

When I go to the DMV, I know why I'm going there. Many people, do not.

Although I have never worked at the DMV, I have worked at a similar job for 10 years, and many customers do not know why they have walked up to my counter. Really. They just stand there talking. Then they get angry when they realize how stupid they are.

About once per month, when I'm walking somewhere on my lunch hour, someone will walk up to me and ask me "Where is the social security office?"

I ask them "What's the address? Or intersection?"

They don't know. People walk around and drive around, without even knowing where they are going. They know the name of the place, but never bothered to call and ask for the address, or to look in a phone book for the address, or (gasp) get on the Internet which I know is way beyond their IQ.

I know you've all seen people standing in line in a grocery store, just standing there while the cashier rings up everything. Then the cashier says "OK that's $92.50 total." THEN, the customer pulls out a fucking checkbook (why can't they get a debit card?) and starts writing the date and name of the store. Which they should've done while they were standing there, instead of holding up the line an extra 30 seconds.

"Quite whining about 30 seconds", you might be thinking. "You impatient fuckhead bastard."

Well, a busy Safeway or Albertsons might have 5,000 customers in a day. Probably 10 percent are checkbook time wasters. So that's 500 people each wasting 30 seconds. Total time wastage is 250 minutes, or about 4 hours.

And that's a generous estimate. That's not counting the other types of idiots besides the wait-until-you-know-the-total-before-you-start-writing-the-check idiots.

The "I forgot one thing! I'll be back in a second" idiots.

The "That total has to be wrong, let's review the receipt item by item" idiots.

The "What do you mean I can't buy cigarettes and beer with my OREGON TRAIL WELFARE card?" idiots.

The "What do you mean, you won't take my personal out of state check for 10 cartons of cigarettes and 5 cases of beer?" idiots.

The "I don't know how to operate this credit card swiper keypad but will keep trying" idiots.

The "I have 58 items and I'm on the 10 items or less express line" idiots.

The "PAPER IN PLASTIC" mutants.

OK, you've seen these people. And they all go to the DMV. THAT is why the DMV sucks.


post id: 132103791

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