Originally Posted: 2009-08-11 1:38am

Dear Future Hipster Neighbor

Dear Future late 20/early 30 Hipster Neighbor from the Mid-west/South/Idaho:

I know you are the coolest kid in Iowa/Ohio/Idaho/Texas/Florida/etc but...

While scanning CL for a cool vintage apartment near Hawthorne or Alberta, a sweet barista job and a new fixie to ride around on once you arrive, please reconsider your decision, and please do not move here.

There aren’t any jobs for the people who already live here. Word on the street is that your Stumptown barista job won’t last once people find out you are a 30-something college graduate from Ohio.

I heard the eastside is going to break off from the Willamette River and will soon become part of the Couve (aka you will live in something similar to where you currently live, but rainier)….

Plus, living in the Pearl or NW is too expensive for your $9/hour barista job. And no cool hipsters live on the SW Side.


Your previous future neighbor

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