Read this carfeully because I'm only writing this once.

Giving Signals

The main duty of the single man or woman (hereafter known as the PLAYER) is giving signs to the attractive potential mate (hereafter known as the HOTTIE). The PLAYER must know what they are capable of handling. For young PLAYERS, signs may be simple and few in number, but for older and more knowledgeable PLAYERS, additional plays and situations can be covered. Whatever the system, every PLAYER should know and understand it perfectly.

Most signs are missed because the PLAYERS do not look at the right time. HOTTIES should look at the PLAYER just before they enter the train or immediately after the train pulls off. Bystanders must look at the same time as the HOTTIES so that they are aware of what is going to happen. To avoid being picked off, PLAYERS must be on the bag when they are looking for signals.

The most common system of signs involves a SIGN OF INTEREST. A complete routine can be signaled in this method, but nothing is valid until the SIGN OF INTEREST is touched. Most often, the first sign given after the SIGN OF INTEREST is the one indicating the tactic. The following set of signals is an example of this system:

1. SIGN OF INTEREST --- Touching the face with the right hand
2. You're Cute But Out Of My League --- Right hand to hairline
3. Coffee Sometime? --- Hand to ear
4. Do You Think I'm Cute Too? --- Right hand to left arm
5. Let's Bang (HOTTIE'S discretion) --- Left hand to right arm
6. Check Craigslist As Soon As You Get To Work --- Right hand to chest

Example of a signal routine: Right hand to ear / left hand to right arm / right hand to chest / touch face with right hand / right hand to ear / right hand to baseball cap.

The Coffee Sometime? signal is on. Although several signs were given, the only valid sign is the one appearing after the key or indicator sign.

Practice this at home before venturing out on your morning commute to lessen embarrassment to yourself and others.

There is no regulation regarding which trains you can signal on but studies have shown that the F line from Brooklyn to Manhattan during morning commutes yield the highest success rates.

This has been a public service announcement from the MTA's Hookup Department. Feel free to contact us at whywontthathottielookatme@MTA.org