best of craigslist > new york > That was awkward, but commendable.
Originally Posted: 2005-04-22 12:48pm

That was awkward, but commendable.

An "A" for effort goes to the gentleman in the blue pin-stripe, who tried to cover-up his gasket-blowing fart, that he clearly lost control of and knew he had nano-seconds to counter, by coughing real loud as he did so in a valiant, albeit futile, attempt at covering up the sound of his gaseous elevator-foul. Although the smell wasn't horrible (obviously a pre-lunch offering), a dry, semi-stagnant mixture of freshly cut grass and a small rotting vegetable, the sound was magnanimous, and the overall effect it had on the three other people in the elevator with him was to unite us in a common bond of 'strangers-against-guy-who-farted-in-a-shared-enclosed-space." For that unifying bond alone, I should thank you, because its not every day that you and two complete unknowns can telepathically communicate your agreed-upon ill-will towards another human being.

You almost, sir, almost pulled it off, but you miscalucated and coughed too soon, and so when the baratone ass-gas blurted out its opening piece, it caught the waning effort of your cough, whose aural flight of fancy was on its way into oblivion, and instead of shrouding one sound with another, it was more like organic dueling banjos or perhaps a bass guitar accompanying the opening riff of an acoustic. To have pulled it off you would have had to time it perfectly, matching pitch and tone as closely as possible, instead, it sounded only as if your ass took your mouth's cough as a challenge.

Nonetheless, bravo, sir, I applaude your split-second decision making. You've got middle management written all over you.




post id: 69665992

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