I can't date you. I'd really like to, but you're a consultant.
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I used to think guys with fancy, businessy jobs were boring. I assumed I didn't have anything to talk about with an investment banker, or a consultant or a corporate lawyer. But as more of my overeducated friends now fall into this category, I've started to meet some of their coworkers and plenty of them are interesting, attractive guys. You, for example, are amazingly sweet with an adorably dorky sense of humor and a speedy wit. I honestly enjoy spending time with you.
But I make $32,000 a year. In New York. And I'm in media, so that's not going to go much higher.
This should be perfect, right? Creative woman meets interesting guy who happens to make a lot of money. They fascinate each other; he finances her; it all works out.
But it wouldn't. I would resent you for making more money than me. I would doubt all the choices I've made that have led to my low-paying job. I would look at happy, rich you and wonder if maybe I made all the wrong trade-offs. After all, there are plenty of days that I hate my job, but I don't get to drown my frustration in a trip to Madagascar. No, I go buy a pack of cigarettes because that's the kind of waste of money I can afford.
And you don't even hate your job, which makes it worse. You're not a boring corporate drone; you're a guy who's intellectually stimulated and finds interesting things to spend his money on. I'd both resent the hell out of you and get greedy for your money.
So I've realized that the only way I'll be happy is to find a guy who's salary caps out at about $60,000. That's not so much more than me that I would feel like I was stuck on the light end of the teeter-totter.
You, of course, make so much more than that. I can't even conceptualize the amount of money you make, what you consider a cheap dinner, or how much you would pay for an airline ticket. We can laugh about that now, but the ongoing situation would quickly rub all the humor out and leave a raw spot that hurts every time you bump it.
So that's it. I can't date you. It doesn't matter that you're funny, nice and caring. You're too rich for me.