Dear Crackhead that broke into my car last weekend,
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Thank you for breaking the rear drivers side window, instead of the front one or the windshield. On my 2-door car, the rear quarter glass (as I have learned it is called) is cheaper to replace than one of the larger front windows, or worse yet, the windshield. You must have somehow known that I don't have full glass coverage, and that i'd have to pay out of pocket to get it fixed. I am sure you had me in mind.
Thank you for not stealing ANYTHING from the inside of my car. You didn't like any of my CDs? They were thrown all over the place, so I know you at least looked through them. I had some empty notebooks in the backseat too. You didn't see a use for any of them either? Maybe you don't go to school. What about my umbrella? Or one of the several cans of fix-a-flat that my dad keeps giving me? Was there really NOTHING in there that interested you?
You probably didn't realize that i'm the poorest BMW driver on the planet. That car was bestowed onto me a year ago, but unfortunately, so were the payments. I'm too young and broke to afford it really, so I don't have much money to spend on expensive things to keep in my car for you to steal. I apologize. Why do you think I live in this neighborhood anyway? It's cheaper here than in the northside of w'burg, where I should have lived.
Thank you for folding the rear seats down and throwing all the shit in my trunk into the backseat. I had been meaning to clean out the trunk for months, and that gave me just the motivation I needed. Now my trunk is so organized!
Now, it appears you didn't take anything, but I don't remember if my old laptop was in the trunk or not. If it was, then you got it. And if you did, thanks. It hasn't worked in months and I was only saving it to maybe see what happens when you dissect an LCD screen. You aren't supposed to just throw your old computers in the garbage - you have to dispose of them properly, which is kind of a hassle, so thank you for taking it off my hands.
It looks like you didn't even try to steal the car. Why not? Maybe you don't know how to drive a standard. I kind of wish you did, because then insurance would cover my ass and i'd be free of that money-sieve.
With Much Gratitude,
the (now even poorer) broke BMW owner in east williamsburg
this is in or around East Williamsburg