Walking on the Train
wow...can you losers possibly get over us walking on the fucking train? Did Bloomberg outlaw walking on the train? You’re probably the same people who bitch about people eating or sleeping on the train (not homeless people sleeping but those of us who work 12 hours a day and sit upright while sleeping
For the sake of combating ignorance, as a person who ofen walks on the train, I will give the top ten reasons I walk on the train.
First off, most reasons people walk through the train is because they’re unsatisfied with the car they’ve entered. You only have about 60 or 90 seconds to board the train before the doors close, so you just board the train car nearest to you. Since you don’t want to get out and catch another train, or if the train is already in motion (with doors closed) and you want to leave that train car immediately, you simple walk to the next subway car. Simple enough for you?
1) No seats in the particular train car I’ve entered, or the only available seats are near people with screaming kids. I will continue going from car to car until I find one with available AND suitable seating.
2) Car smells funny (urine, feet, feces, etc.) and I choose to move to the next one.
3) It’s July and the car I’ve just entered has no air conditioning. (This has even happened on the LIRR as well) Strangely enough, the next car has full air conditioning. Solution? Walk to the next car.
4) Crazy person screaming obscenities or racial slurs. I usually like to make my commute my reading (or sleeping) time, and do not need such noise as I read.
5) I’ve unknowingly entered a car which is full of gang members (actually happened once on the J train in Brooklyn--Latin Kings--yellow and black as far as the eye could see...got the fuck outta there real quick!)
6) I’ve unknowingly entered a car where there is a screaming baby, and there is no sign of this kid stopping anytime soon. Also if the kid has shat himself, or if the parents are changing the baby’s diapers on the train (ewwww....) I will definitely move to the next car. The smell of baby shit is like no other...I’d rather be in the car full of gang members!
6) I’m going to someone’s house for the first time, and as they give me directions, they’ll say something like, “Move to the first two cars on the train and use the exit near there. That exit is the closest one to my house.” When I’m in unfamiliar territory I like to follow such instructions to the letter as to avoid getting lost in a strange neighborhood. Therefore, if I just caught the train and did not have enough time to run to te front of the train and enter the first two cars, guess what I’ll do once I board the train?
7) I’ve entered an empty car...the MTA always tells you the safest cars are those with people on them, and that empty cars are a crime scene waiting to happen. Yes, I read their “subtalk” advertisements. While I’ve never seen mugged on the subway, if I see I’m on in an empty car I will move to one with people in it.
8) I spot an old girlfriend, or some asshole I pretend to get along with but in reality I’d rather not speak to enter the train car or were already in the car. Solution? Avoid confrontation and move to the next car before they see you and get the misconception that you actually tolerate their existence.
9) I have to fart, and do not wish to stink up the car for my fellow passengers, so I let ‘er rip while riding inbetween the cars. Or I have already farted (it happens sometimes whether you want it to or not) and wish to leave this car before getting dirty looks from the other passengers.
10) I see nothing wrong with the car I’m riding in, but the person(s) I’m with insists we move to the next train car for reasons 1 to 9.
11) Guess what? Some people in this world just have nervous energy. Either too much coffee or this is the only cardio they’ll do all day, or they’re restless and fidgety. Get over it.
I’m sure there are more reasons for walking on the train, but the bottom line is that there are more serious things to worry about when riding the subway than that. Bring a book or newspaper on the train and read it, look out the window, or bring a walkman so you occupy yourself with other things than why people walk from train car to train car. Better yet, since you’re so fascinated with the mundane, if you’re lucky enough to ride a train car that has the empty Snapple bottle rolling back and forth for hours, please occupy yur feeble mind with that and watch it roll to every corner of the car without breaking.
this is in or around 7 Train