my lifetime rant
1. my job. first of all, why is this number one? probably because I spend so much fucken time (and mental energy) there. I work about the least amount of hours of any of my co-workers, but I still think it's way too much. maybe I'm just lazy, but fuck it, then that's how I am. It's driving me crazy, largely because I don't actually do anything. I buy and sell shit. I don't make anything. I don't produce anything. I just simply buy shit from one guy, sell it to another, and make money for standing in the middle. Is that really any way for an adult to behave? It's fucken embarassing.
Also, why do I have to sit in the ghetto section at work? I always have to sit out it left field, because I am marginalized. Fuck you, assholes, and fuck the "fashion forward" suits you rode in on. [I was goint to write "you fucking dumbass", but then I realized it would be redundant.]
2. What the fuck did I give up drugs for (other than that they were killing me)? I have barely been able to write any decent poetry since who knows when because I am fucking lazy and a piece of shit. since when did I become such a worthless asshole? I can't even handle my shit anymore. I almost puked on new years eve. Ok, fine, I did puke. twice. I rarely even drink hard liquor these days. I am a worthless scum. I want to chop up a [bottle of xanax] and pound that shit. whatever.
3. By the way, why the fuck am I so lazy? Not only can I barely write poetry anymore, but I can also barely even write bad screenplays and shit. I don't even know if I can do math anymore. What the fuck is a manifold? If I see myself in a mirror, I'm going to kick my ass. Why am I always going to get in shape "tomorrow"? Answer: because I am a lazy piece of shit.
4. Did I mention that I hate people? I hate talking to them. I have issues with intimacy. I find it difficult to interact with people, partly because I hate them. I have a mixed inferiority complex and superiority complex. I don't know how to explain it. Fuck you.
5. I know how to fix the subways. I don't know who to tell. The MTA pisses me off. Not in the way that is pisses you off. I mean, I get a fucking brain anyeurism every time I think about it.
Wow, I feel better. You should try this, it really works.