Why does he disappear?
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Most likely, he's not a complete asshole. He saw something about you he liked, and wanted to date you. Like others have said, sex can only sustain a relationship so long - for me it's about 1 night, if that (generally I'm not interested in hooking up with girls who I don't see as potential girlfriends). There's got to be something going on mentally - emotionally.
You guys have to be able to have a good conversation - and what you think is a good conversation may not be the same for him.
You've got to be the girl that he goes and raves to his dad about. The girl that, when hanging out with you, he goes to the bathroom and text messages his friend "I'm in love" about. The girl he brags to his GIRLfriends about. The girl whose picture he looks at every day, secretly looking around his office to make sure nobody's standing behind him.
You've got to be the girl that he can't WAIT to take home to meet his parents. The girl that he fantasizes about doing things with - going away, going out to eat, going to the library. The girl that makes him see a hot girl, and think "man, I'm so glad I'm not going to feel bad about not being with HER" (because yes, every time we see a gorgeous woman we feel bad that we're not with them).
You've got to be the girl who he brings to his office party, introduces you to his coworkers, then pretends he's annoyed when they tell him the next day how nice and how beautiful you are, and how cute the two of you are together (though he's secretly loving every minute of it).
You've got to be the girl whose name he searches for on his computer and in his email account, hoping he'll find something that he wrote to his friend about you (or better yet, an old email from you). The girl whose old emails and notes he reads again and again. And again and again.
You've got to be the girl he dreams of spending money on. The girl who makes him feel like material things are irrelevant. The girl who he makes a mixtape for - and when you make one for him he cherishes it forever - and tries to find hidden meanings in the songs, their titles, their order.
You've got to be the girl that makes him hide in the bathroom at work, quietly sobbing, when he thinks things are going bad. The girl that makes him stay at work much later than he should, because instead of meeting his deadline, he's writing craigslist posts about you.
I'm sorry, when I started this, I truly intended it to be a guy's views on dating. Instead it turned into me rambling on about the girl that I don't have, but dream about.
But I'm sure that every girl is that girl to someone.
this is in or around manhattan