best of craigslist > new york > To the "Fake" girl on the NJ Transit Train to NYPenn
Originally Posted: 2004-09-22 3:06pm

To the "Fake" girl on the NJ Transit Train to NYPenn

I know you think you were smooth... but trust me honey, I'm smoother than Billy Dee Williams in a Colt 45 commertial. I picked up everything, all you little looks... all your signals.

You sat down across from me becasue the car was almost full. I looked up from my copy of the Dupont Registry and caught your eyes for a brief instant. You smiled. I nodded. I glanced down toward the pages of exotic cars that I know I will never be able to afford (and I know that you were wondering if I COULD afford) then glanced back at you. You were still looking at me. I smiled and squinted slightly, letting you know that I know that you are interested...

I positioned the mag so I could better see you in my peripheral vision. You looked great with that Louis Vuitton knockoff, and I could tell you were impressed with my $300 Knock-off Rolex with custom Red-Monkey Designs Watch Band. Our fakeness was so envigorating. Your eyes were appreciating my black Dolce & Gabbana shirt. Little did you know I got if off of ebay for $20... but the guy I bought if from SWEARS its real, so it has to be. Good thing you know your designers, because you were in obviously impressed enough to to oblivious to my $7 pair of faded Old Navy Mechanics Cut Jeans. I hummed a few bars of a White Stripes tune then pretended something out the window caught my eye. I am so fucking hip...

I take out my Montblanc pen and began to visibly circle adds in the dupont registry for Austin Martins and Lotus'. I saw you looking at the Pen. Then I saw you notice what I was circling. I can only imagine what was going through your head...

"Was that pen a gift... Appreciation for closing a record breaking deal? Graduation present from receiving you MBA at Harvard Business School?"

I tapped the pen against my lower lip seductively... This old thing? It's nothing. Of course, once my boss finds out that he didn't "Lose" his favorite pen, but in fact forgot it on my desk... well, thats somehting that doesnt need to be talked about.

I crossed my legs and noticed you eyeing my crotch. "My God"... I thought. This was all too easy! Looking down I realize the oz. I was holding had shifted in my boxers and I was giving off the impression that I was packing a deli-salami between my legs. I let it slide, as It could only help. The train pulled into Newark Penn and you got up. Our eyes met one last time and you said goodbye in a voice as if we we have been lovers for years. I was about to say something, but as I began to rise, the bud began falling down my pant leg. You left looking rejected and I rode the train on to NYPenn alone...

Oh where are you, fake Louis Vuitton Girl?


this is in or around My Desk

post id: 43273813

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